inaugural
BARS OPEN UNTIL 4 A.M.! Where will you drink for these next four magic hours? Overshare in the comments, nerds. Wonkette is now headed to Capitol Lounge for beers #73-#89, if anyone cares. [Capitol Lounge]
There’s so much romantic goodwill out there tonight, for the Obamas, that people are using home video cameras to videotape the teevee showing the new First Couple’s First Dance. It is touching, this outpouring of inept support!
Obama Shocker: New President Gives Satanic Sign To His Zombie Followers
by Ken Layne
Sure is fun to have a black guy as president, what with the hope and all, and what an exciting day of inaugural inauguration events …. OH WHAT IN THE HELL BARACK IS DOING THE DEVIL-HORN HAND-SIGN!
Oh, this is sweet: Chief Justice John Roberts intentionally (allegedly!) fucked up the Presidential Oath, so the wingnuts could claim Obama really isn’t president, because he said the words in the wrong order. See, not only is Roberts a Republican hack, but Obama voted against his confirmation. But Roberts’ evil plan sort of fell apart, [...]
COMICS CURMUDGEON INFILTRATES HALF-MUSLIN MALL MOB! Yes he did! Josh got in, and here is his tragic report: “Yes We Did! Near the monument. Screen distant, audio inaudible no cell reception. Got here in time to boo Lieberman.” Spoken like a true American Hero. Good luck getting home to Baltimore in a few weeks, Josh! [...]
Liveblogging the Actual Most Historical Thing Ever, Since the Moon Landing
by Ken Layne
It is actually a beautiful, sunny day in Washington D.C., in the freezing winter! The people are hopey, happy, etc. Allah really does want this Barack Obama character to become president, of Earth. Let us now continue the patriotic liveblogging of this Inauguration Day Inaugural Special, from Washington, where somehow another Bush is not becoming [...]
Liveblogging the Bigshots Being Seated For Barack Obama’s Big Day
by Ken Layne
It’s time for our first official historical inaugural Inauguration Day liveblogging! Good morning, Hopeful America. We’ve got the Comics Curmudgeon on the ground, Jim Newell staggering around Capitol Hill with a broken camera, and the best political team on the internets, etc. Let’s gather together around our teevee set and make fun of the cable-news [...]
Here, from Ustream, is your live inaugural video feed. We hope it works better than our live video feed from the Wonkette 2009 Inaugural Ball. We’ll keep this “near” the top of the page, for you, America!
‘Hope’ You Like Your Horrible Hatched Devil Jesus President, Sheeple!
by Ken Layne
It’s been a while since we checked in with our favorite Internet Political Illustrator, David Dees. He doesn’t seem very “hopeful” about this Barack Obama character! Then again, only Ron Paul could actually save our nation, but the New World Order had Doctor Paul killed! So sad.
Do not bother trying to kayak to the Inauguration. [DCist] Obama went to his favorite mosque today, the 19th St. Baptist Church. [WTOP] Welcome to town! Try not to be a total dick. [Urbzen] The “We Are One” concert was a special event of some kind, involving Beyonce singing “America the Beautiful,” Obama and Lincoln [...]
If this works, you are watching LIVE sexytime video from the famous Wonkette ’09 Inaugural Party, hooray! UPDATE: Nobody ever turned on the Web-Cam, sorry. Put your camera-phone links and general hijinx in the comments!
Here is a true story about poets: they are all a bunch of whining pussies, except for Jane Kenyon, Robert Frost, and the two guys who played the precogs in Minority Report. When JFK asked Robert Frost to read a poem at his swearing-in, Robert Frost wrote a poem specifically for the purpose and then [...]
