Here, from Ustream, is your live inaugural video feed. We hope it works better than our live video feed from the Wonkette 2009 Inaugural Ball. We’ll keep this “near” the top of the page, for you, America!
DEATH TUNNEL: It’s another on-the-ground report from our brave correspondent Josh Pfotenhauer! “Thousands of us are being funneled into the filthy road tunnel under the Mall,” he writes. “What could possibly go wrong? The brave souls are singing ‘god bless America’ to keep their spirits up, until the air runs out.”
These toilets were anxious to get out of town this morning before they were forcibly conscripted into acting as poop receptacles for the two MILLION inauguration-going, be-fanny-packed out-of-towners who went to Chili’s last night, but they missed the 6:30 train out of Baltimore Penn Station. Now they are doomed. Pray for them. Photo courtesy of [...]
“Each of these important titles is at least as good as the Bible. I encourage you to read them all, again and again, until the next scary eight years have finally ended.” [AOL Political Machine]
Here’s left-wing liberal Keith Olbermann gleefully delivering the breaking news that Dick Cheney has somehow destroyed his entire body moving boxes into his new CIA-gazing home. Cheney’s so massively dead right now that he will have to attend tomorrow’s Inauguration in a wheelchair. There is nothing — NOTHING — funny about this. It is SERIOUS. [...]
You know who’s having a doggone humdinger of an Inauguration weekend is that Christopher Hitchens, the ex-Trotskyist drink-soaked popinjay war columnist for Slate, Vanity Fair… wherever else! The Internet is awash with stories of his shenanigans this weekend, including a sexy kiss with fellow British anger bear Andrew Sullivan at the Slate party and some [...]
It’s been a while since we checked in with our favorite Internet Political Illustrator, David Dees. He doesn’t seem very “hopeful” about this Barack Obama character! Then again, only Ron Paul could actually save our nation, but the New World Order had Doctor Paul killed! So sad.
As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t [...]
Everyone in Washington is stuffing their faces with acids and toxic poisons in order to be beautiful for the inauguration! This is a good thing, because maybe it will save our faltering cosmetic surgery industry, at least for a little while.
Too bad they’re not filled with Obama’s birth certificates, from Moscow, in Saudi Arabia. Please let’s have the Supreme Court stop this fraud president before Washington becomes, somehow, filled with garbage! [YouTube]
Do not bother trying to kayak to the Inauguration. [DCist] Obama went to his favorite mosque today, the 19th St. Baptist Church. [WTOP] Welcome to town! Try not to be a total dick. [Urbzen] The “We Are One” concert was a special event of some kind, involving Beyonce singing “America the Beautiful,” Obama and Lincoln [...]
As your Wonkette waits for the plumber to fix the burst pipe in its own terrible DC house this Sunday morning, we’re comforted to find that we’re not alone. An anonymous emailer sends in this picture, allegedly of the famous spy museum in D.C., suffering from frozen/busted water pipes. The museum remains open, apparently, and [...]
After posting the customary president-elect YouTube video to the internets, this morning Barack Obama and his family boarded a rickety old train for a daylong journey from Philadelphia to Washington, which takes about two hours on a normal Saturday, in a car. This dramatic gesture is meant to illustrate our nation’s tragic fall from a [...]
Local street hobos are very pessimistic about the Inauguration. Hope! [DC Examiner] Good news about your Maryland bars!: those in DC will stay open until 5 AM, and those in Annapolis will stay open until 3 AM. [WTOP] Obama might not be in favor of giving DC a seat in the House, despite selfishly going [...]
NO-SHOWS: After we saw the Wax Demon of Barack Obama at the ghetto Safeway, we figured he’d show up anywhere! Alas, Madame Tussauds’ homunculus of our new president kindly RSVP’s that he’s already booked tonight and won’t be at Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball. So if you want a picture with the Wax Demon Obama, you must [...]
