Wonkette

Some company called the Markham Group, which organized political events for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, has bought the domain HRC2012.com. Obviously this means that Hillary Clinton still plans on sabotaging Barack Obama’s presidential bid by sending a complimentary copy of the New Yorker to every resident of Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Indiana, so that John McCain can get elected in November, so that he can perish in office and be replaced by a lame-duck Vice President Charlie Crist, so that she can win the 2012 election in a walk — none of which would be possible if the Markham Group had not bought this very special domain name. [Marc Ambinder]

Corrupt Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens, the old hack whose limited understanding of the Internet as a “series of tubes” launched a soul-crushing meme, has redesigned his Internet web site! And he’s sent out a release about the changes that we found funny, but probably only because, you know, he’s Ted Stevens and he’s writing about the Internet again. For example: “Online communities - We now have a presence on YouTube, Flickr (photo sharing site), and MySpace in addition to the Facebook page we have had. You can become a friend or subscriber to these pages and this will allow you to stay in touch with the campaign in a whole new way. Links to all of these sites are located on the front page of the website.” OK, you tell us Flickr is for photo sharing, but what in the hell are YouTube, MySpace and the Facebook?? [Ted Stevens]

Wonkette Political Apparel Operative “Lisa” directs us to a magical store on CNN where you can buy tee shirts with funny quotes on them. But buy now because the shirts are only on sale until the headline falls off the “Latest News” section!!!! Oh no wait they have an archive too. Brilliant. [CNN Shirt]

Here’s video of the panel at the Personal Democracy Forum (WONKETTE PREMIUM AD $$$) where McCain “Internet Guy” Mark Soohoo informs the world that “John McCain is aware of the Internet.” Since this was a conference about technology, you can only imagine the giggles from the techie crowd, all of whom immediately Twitter the quote to their pet gerbils. Then Tracy Russo, a blogger gal, says your grandmother cannot understand Facebook, and neither can John McCain. Who gives a shit? [YouTube]

DEFENSE OF THE DAY: From Mark Soohoo, McCain’s deputy “e-campaign” director: “John McCain is aware of the Internet.” MEME! [New York Times]

Oh this is rich. You may remember when Hillary said in her speech tonight that she cannot make a Decision about the future, and that you should go to her website — www.HillaryClinton.com — to share your thoughts (and money). Sure enough, there’s a form! And how nice of Hillary to create this push poll for us, where she tells us exactly what to say. Now she can mention “all the passionate support” she’s received at some press conference in a few days when she announces her plans for Denver. So be sure to give Hillz your advice, but keep to the script. [Hillary Clinton]

And South Dakota Clinton supporter Cheryl Chamberlain takes the lead in the “Small Town Voters Who Shouldn’t Ever Talk To The Media” contest: “I won’t vote for Obama… You go on the Internet and see him associated with that church, with the Koran. He won’t wear a flag pin. … After 9/11, there is absolutely no way I’d support someone who is associated with the Koran. I won’t support terrorism.” In case you don’t get it, that mental leap chain is: Obama –> Internet –> Church –> Koran –> No Flag Pin –> 9/11 –> Koran –> Terrorist. [LA Times]

Sweet Japanese Jesus: “A Japanese civil servant was demoted for logging more than 780,000 hits on pornographic Web sites on his office computer over nine months, an official said Friday.” 780,000, divided by nine months, divided by 22 workdays in a month… carry the zero… he looked at four billion Internet pornography boobs a day, every day. [AP/Raw Story]

George W. Bush recently found a home for his $250 million library on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Texas. But where to live on the scarce Internet market? At one point, the library foundation owned the domain www.GeorgeWBushLibrary.com, which sounds simple enough for no one to care about. But now they have lost it because of some damn hippies: “But whether on purpose or because of an oversight — foundation spokesman Taylor Griffin wasn’t sure — it lost that domain name last year. Illuminati Karate, a Web company in Raleigh, N.C., picked it up for less than $10.” It is very likely that the Internet will never allow George Bush into its house. [Dallas Morning News]

We got a preview of this concept with that scary new McCain Debates website, but here is the full .GIF of the geometric relationship between letters “M” and “W”! About damn time, liberal Internet. Be sure not to stare at this for too long, as the Internet will be proudly flaunting it on various dumb blogs until November. [via Crooks and Liars]