investigations
Since your Wonkette cracked the case on Chuck Norris’ hilariously poorly veiled plagiarism in his columns, the professional kicker’s people have refused to talk to us, and his syndicate, which still feautures Norris on its website, has refused multiple requests for comment. Yes, the man whose entire public persona is based on kicking people’s faces [...]
U.S. Senate candidate Alvin Greene (D-Universe) has come under investigation from the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division (SLED), a fake-sounding state agency, to find out how he came up with the $10,440 filing fee he needed to run for the Democratic nomination for Senate. The agency will “use a new state law that allows the [...]
Former chair of the Florida Republican Party Jim Greer, most “famous” nationally for flipping out over Obama’s socialist plan to tell American children “education is good for you” on their first day of school last year, was “arrested Wednesday morning at his home, though charges against the disgraced chairman were not immediately available.” Indeed, anyone [...]
Proving once again that Dick Cheney only likes gay people if their last name is “Cheney,” the evil heart monster emerged from his Northern Virginia abattoir today to endorse Floridian wingnut Marco Rubio’s Senate primary run against Republican Charlie Crist. The Rubio-Teabagger campaign released a statement from Cheney calling Crist — again, the Republican governor [...]
VERY LIBERAL ERIC HOLDER TO APPOINT INVESTIGATOR TO INVESTIGATE WHETHER THERE IS ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO TO HAVE AN INVESTIGATION FOR CRIMES, SUCH AS TORTURE, BUT ONLY THE STUFF THAT GEORGE W. BUSH DIDN’T SAY WAS A-OKAY: Let’s meet the pre-pre-investigation’s purported new sexy independent prosecutor: John Durham from Connecticut! “Durham’s mandate, the sources added, will [...]
Well, this is highly unsatisfying. We wanted to hear that Sarah Palin was one of the handful of lovelies with whom Mark Sanford “crossed the line” after a steamy meetup at the make-your-own-omelette buffet at some Republican Governors’ conference, but no. While we wait for shoes to drop and “real journalists” to do whatever they’re [...]
The number one problem facing everyone in the Republican party right now is that they cannot bring themselves to foot the bill for their own clothing, and this ends them up in terrible scrapes. Like Sarah Palin, the amiable Alaskan parasite whose popularity plunged after it turned out the money-soaked Republican National Committee was paying [...]
For further proof of just how bumblefuck a state Alaska is, look no further than the ease with which a couple of lawyers for the McCain campaign have destroyed the Troopergate investigation — which was a legitimate issue in Alaska for a while! — after half-assedly skimming off a few handy topic sentences from the [...]
So apparently Sarah Palin, our favorite Alaskan governor, has a sister, and her sister was married to a state trooper named Wooten until they went through a “bitter divorce.” And then Palin and her husband and various others talked to Wooten’s boss, the public safetey commissioner, and said…Well, nobody knows what they said, but the [...]
