iowa
Just to clarify: Michele Bachmann isn’t offering to let gays get married in the same way straight people do, she’s offering to let gays marry people of the opposite sex if they feel the need to be able to get hitched so badly. This is how “civil rights” works, according to someone with a mail-order [...]
Yammering dingbat Michele Bachmann is having one of her “on” days again! This random human equivalent of a found-art sculpture soldered together from fallen space debris not only registers a negative IQ regarding the number of American embassies in Iran, but she also managed to get caught stealing! It’s also evidence that even the most [...]
Briefly popular ignoramus Herman Cain was already sinking in the GOP primary polls like every other random dingbat the party has puked up for consideration during this long, long 2012 campaign season. But the latest scandal, that he carried on a 13-year-long affair with a lady who was not his wife, seems to be enough [...]
Nobody is sadder about amoral serial-divorcer Newt Gingrich’s momentary rise in the GOP primary polls than invisible wingnut Rick Santorum. Why do the Iowans sort of half-pretend to be interested in Gingrich for a few weeks when a real Catholic anti-abortion zealot has been running for the nomination all along? For Christ sakes, Gingrich only [...]
Another Republican debate! Nobody really noticed this dumb “Jesus Thanksgiving” thing on Saturday, due to the Civil War currently brewing in America, but the six Jesus-loving Republicans did show up to sit with these Halloween pumpkins and jabber about how much they hate the Supreme Court. Mitt Romney obviously skipped out, because he worships the [...]
The goons of the Iowa State Patrol of Des Moines spent last night arresting 32 peacenik “men, women, young people, senior citizens and a 14-year-old” after the Ocupados refused to leave the State Capitol grounds after the 11 p.m. closing time, for freedom. The Des Moines Register report mentions only that one protester was pepper [...]
Reliable comic relief generator Michele Bachmann (which is the only way she is reliable) has exactly one mode when confronted by peaceable handfuls of voters that she perceives as being against her whackjob right-wing viewpoints: FLEE AND CALL THE POLICE. A small horde of Grinnell College student-barbarians showed up to one of her campaign events to [...]
Well, it’s official! The only presidential campaign staffers Michele Bachmann has left rounds down to about “the collection of half-empty Diet Coke cans living under Marcus Bachmann’s bunk” on the tour bus: the AP reports her pollster Ed Goeas, her senior adviser Andy Parrish and two other staffers are bolting the funky psycho chicken coop [...]
The dimming dollar-store bulb of Michele Bachmann’s “energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs are socialist” presidential campaign is down to a stack of leftover informational pamphlets, a couple of desperate spam emails begging for “emergency” money and, uh, some guy who thanked Michele Bachmann for running so that he doesn’t have to vote for “next best thing” dead [...]
Hoo-wee, Michele Bachmann is back in Waterloo, Iowa where she was hatched, spouting as usual just “the complete opposite of whatever is actually the case in reality.” So what this time? Bachmann rambled a righteous yarn about the devilry and downfall of government spending and regulation Monday as she stood promising growth in front of [...]
Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. [...]
The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue with net result computation that Barack Obama only wanted to schedule his originally-planned September 7 jobs speech at the same time as [...]
What has Sarah Palin quit today? Her own headline act at Iowa’s big Tea Party circus this Saturday. And how is this different than everything else this mentally unstable con-artist has quit since losing her one and only national election? Well, this time, she managed to attack her former dingbat-grifter protege Christine O’Donnell in the [...]
Who likes white people? Uhh, everybody except for black people and brown people and yellow people, we guess? Also, many actual white people don’t much like white people, having read a history book or two. But Michele Bachmann is here to praise Jesus and His Own Special People, even though he was an Arab. UPDATE: [...]
