iowa
WOOEEE here is your “hero Democrat” story, about… eh, probably the only Democrat we know of these days to just kick ass when the terrible mutants show up at his door making childish demands. Iowa Congressman Leonard Boswell cold pounced on an intruder who entered his home and tried to hold up his family: The [...]
According to this important email from Michele Bachmann’s campaign, she is going to win Iowa and then whatever other states are part of America. She is a uniter, not a divider! (As long as you’re an “ex-gay” who helps her collect foster-parenting money, as a “small business.”) And this strategy is working with the nine [...]
Here is presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty so excited to talk to some young people about his huge Lady Gaga crush that he interrupts his lady interviewers’ questions to ask them what their favorite Lady Gaga songs are (starts at 1:48). We’re havin fun now, aren’t we, girls? Tim will also review Lady Gaga’s HBO special for [...]
In the absence of Sarah Palin saying anything about whether she will run for president, her followers are walking around the Iowa cornfields as un-anointed apostles canvasing for their mysteriously quiet snowbilly messiah and waiting for her sign. What else has anyone even got to do these days, except wait for signals from space monsters? [...]
Buried halfway through this rumor-heavy Politico INSIDE SCOOP about the implosion of Herman Cain’s campaign is one particularly fun piece of total hearsay alleging that Cain’s Iowa staff is crumbling “after weeks of swirling rumors between Cain’s staff and volunteers in the Hawkeye State accusing each other of affairs, homosexuality and professional misconduct.” Yes, why [...]
Insecure snowbilly vampire Sarah Palin has resurfaced from her Alaska lair to resume sucking up American media air time with her One Nation Bus Tour aimless cross-country grifting. Palin visited Iowa to attend the premiere of a documentary featuring endless footage of the stiff beehive hairdos she wore as Alaska governor, and for the massive free barbecue [...]
“GO HOME” is the edgy new Iowa GOP slogan for the young people. When a group of students visited the state capitol to testify about the effects of budget cuts on higher education, GOP State Senator Shawn Hammerlinck told the students, “I do not like it when students actually come here and lobby me for [...]
Fun webzine NewsMax mostly sends the Wonkette tips line weird spam about timeshares and sex pills, but it also posts lots of made-up news about middle-aged pinups Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. Apparently, there can be only one sexy grandma in the Republican Party — it’s kind of just for old white dudes who completely [...]
Oh golly, just another eight months or so before the Iowa Caucus, which means it’s time for Wonkette to go into high gear. Mitt Romney is in Iowa! Michele Bachmann is planning an announcement at her personal Waterloo, which is a place actually called “Waterloo, Iowa,” where she was hatched from an emu egg beneath [...]
Are you psyched for the next seventeen months of presidential candidate news bytes? Remember, the first primary is still a summer and a fall and a winter away, and here’s the kind of thing you’re going to be seeing a lot, to fill the gaping news hole: “Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich briefly stopped a campaign [...]
This Iowan stole Newt Gingrich’s hand and wouldn’t give it back until the adulterer said he was sorry. We’re not sure if the whiny “I didn’t do anything to Paul Ryan!” or the smile stuck on Newt’s shiny-headed wife’s face during all of this is the best part.
The banshee shrieks: “That’s why an election was stolen in Minnesota, and yes, I will tell you, it was stolen. And Al Franken became the 60th senator to give Barack Obama a filibuster-proof majority in the United States Senate and that’s how he got ObamaCare. But for that stolen election, we would not have ObamaCare [...]
Staring abyss Michele Bachmann appeared before Iowa social conservative group FAMiLY Leader, whose leader apparently once said, “If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle. That’s why I think we need to speak the truth once in a while.” So Think [...]
