iran
So what does John Bolton think about the people of Egypt rising up against their dictator? Must be time to bomb Iran, of course. “I don’t think there’s much time to act. And I think the fall of a Egyptian government committed to the peace agreement will almost certainly speed that timetable up.” This guy [...]
Dust off your fiddle and play a nice slave owner hymn: It’s Secession Remembrance Week in South Carolina! And what better way to honor your treasonous, slave-owning heritage than to attend the magnificent Charleston Secession Ball this evening? (Lindsey Graham will wear his favorite gown, the one made out of ham biscuits. Good luck, eligible [...]
Senate Republicans foolishly blocked tax cuts for ninety-eight percent of Americans on Saturday, giving Democrats perhaps their greatest legislative victory to date — because now they have the perfect bargaining chip. Yes. Everybody is laughing at Mitch McConnell and all the other spineless Republicans who might compromise their family values and agree to “temporarily extend [...]
Some sneaky Jew-Jew-Yamaka snuck a Star of David onto the roof of the Iran Air headquarters and Allah is PISSED. [Winston's Cat] Angelina Jolie is a BITCH because she hates America (but mostly because she is a woman). [Debbie Schlussel] Breitbart’s Greg Gutfield went to East Germany to learn about one of the most socially [...]
Julian Assange dropped another steaming document dump, consisting of “diplomatic cables” that are actually rather embarrassing and not even remotely diplomatic. Aside from revealing that U.S. diplomats are constantly saying rude things about foreign dignitaries, these cables also document how Hillary Clinton ordered her State Department minions to “spy” on basically everyone. Rep. Steve King, [...]
All Hail John Boehner, America’s newly crowned Orange Mikado! Blessings and peace be upon him, and may he bestow upon us a plentiful cigarette harvest, so that we may have cancer of the lungs and/or mouth, whatever. Yes, November really was the Teabaggers’ “N word.” But c’mon people, it’s not like the Republicans eloped with [...]
Oh, this is a sad day for psychic sea creatures: Paul the Octopus, who accurately predicted the result of every German soccer match as well as the final in this year’s World Cup in South Africa, has died. The mollusk-turned-sage passed away naturally in his aquarium in the western German city of Oberhausen overnight, Sealife [...]
Apparently the Israeli “Internet Mossad” garnished a computer virus with fun Bible passages, and then sent Iran a misleading p0rno link, on AOL Instant Messenger. And Iran clicky clicked, suckas! But also referencing the Old Testament in a computer virus is sort of lame and melodramatic? Deep inside the computer worm that some specialists suspect [...]
Oh man, when John Bolton finds out about this he is going to jizz red, white & blue: Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said Monday that the United States must be prepared to use military force to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon — and added that the last-resort step should be taken [...]
What’s the latest news from America’s favorite man-made disaster, Afghanistan? At least two dozen people were killed at the polls during the latest and almost certainly rigged parliamentary elections. Officials are already reporting “sales of fake voter cards printed in Pakistan, intimidation by local power barons and the absence of a national voter list.” Meanwhile, [...]
Remember when John Bolton blushed like the most flattered debutante when Tucker Carlson’s bow-tie gnomes begged him to run for president? (To forget this moment would be tantamount to “forgetting to give your girlfriend something nice for 9/11.”) John Bolton told the Daily Caller he couldn’t say for sure if he would consider thinking about [...]
What is with you people and your tireless hatred of Iran, which happens to be a Republic just like your beloved “United States”? First it was Paul the Magical German Octopus, with his saber rattling and erotic fantasies of Israel firebombing the dickens out of Tehran. Then John Bolton emerged from his octopus tank to [...]
Yes, yes, yes, Washington, DC is very sad because we’re about to be overrun with racist loonies who worship a pudgy weirdo who worships space monsters. But before the crazies shuffle onto their tour buses and make their way into our city’s safest areas, we have local politics to focus upon, namely the election for [...]
