iraq
Donald Rumsfeld’s memoir will be published in January. Don’t read it: “Known and Unknown,” being published by Sentinel (an imprint of Penguin), refers to Rumsfeld’s explanation in 2002 for the lack of evidence that Iraq was supplying terrorists with weapons of mass destruction. “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, [...]
What’s the latest news from America’s favorite man-made disaster, Afghanistan? At least two dozen people were killed at the polls during the latest and almost certainly rigged parliamentary elections. Officials are already reporting “sales of fake voter cards printed in Pakistan, intimidation by local power barons and the absence of a national voter list.” Meanwhile, [...]
Need something to send back to all the hick-jackholes sure to send you maudlin bullshit Never Forget crying eagle gifs tomorrow? We made you a chart of math science! Methodology: We combined the 2001-2010 figures for “U.S. gun deaths” (30,000 annually) and “U.S. automobile fatalities” (379,000 over nine years) to make a second WTC tower [...]
What if you found out that one of your ex-friends was writing a tell-all book about all your secrets? Would you start a damage control campaign, getting your side of the story out to the press? Would you beg and plead with them to reconsider? Would you hire lawyers? These are the sorts of tactics [...]
It is easy to lampoon Maureen Dowd when she churns out her usual nutty brew of redonkulosity. But our work becomes ever so slightly more difficult when she types an “acceptable column.” And it is nearly impossible to make fun of her when she writes a genuinely good column, the kind that is actually about [...]
It’s been an exciting week for Afghanistan, the reality teevee show where farty military brass compete to see who can cook up the most death and despair using only three ingredients. Our latest contestant, “Dave Petraeus,” has an ambitious plan to send an additional 2,000 NATO soldiers to Afghanistan — probably because he hates them [...]
Hello friends of the revolution! Join us at 8 p.m. Eastern/5 p.m. Pacific for liveblogging of Nobama’s Oval Office Outrage. Will he have a “Mission Accomplished” banner, to match his gay new decorating in the Oval Office? Will he suddenly convince poor white Americans that he “cares,” even though he’s black and has an inherited [...]
We won the Iraq War again, everybody! But because Obama was busy eating crayfish or whatever and it’s still summer-vacation time and nobody actually wants to think about Iraq at all — despite the billions of dollars PER MONTH we continue to piss away over there — poor old Joe Biden was sent to Baghdad. [...]
Is it possible to win an Oscar for best musical selection in a YouTube video? Because this is perfect. Thank you George W. Bush, from the bottom of all our hearts, for winning the Iraq War this week.
HAPPY V-I DAY EVERYBODY!: Iraqi President Saddam Hussein has formally surrendered to U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, which means that America has won the Iraq War, hooray! The last American combat troops have left the country, according to the New York Times’ Media Decoder warblog. 50,000 American “trainers” will remain in the country indefinitely, teaching [...]
As threatened, both Washington and Wyoming went ahead with their primary elections yesterday. Washington didn’t surprise anybody because it is boring; in Wyoming, the nominations of Republican Matt Mead and Democrat Leslie Peterson for governor surprised everyone, because nobody had heard of any of the candidates before and thus any name would have been a [...]
