israel
Andrew Adler, who owns an Atlanta-based newspaper called the Atlanta Jewish Times, wrote an op-ed last week in which he theorized on what Israel could do about its relationship with the United States vis à vis Iran. As Adler sees it, Israel has three options, and one of them involves “ordering a hit on” President [...]
How are things? Bad? Oh. Well, there’s always “Angry Birds” or whatever. Oxycontin. And the fancy scientist people have moved the “symbolic” Doomsday Clock another minute closer to Midnight. This does not mean “another minute closer to Santa’s visit,” or whatever the popular superstitions are these days. It means the world will come to an [...]
A long time ago, when amoral sperm whale Newt Gingrich was simultaneously banging another extramarital bimbo and prosecuting Bill Clinton for an extramarital sexytime, Newt was also deeply in love with Palestinian heartthrob Yasser Arafat.
It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America.
It’s been a while since the last installment of Wonkette World o’ Books, and heavens how the world has changed since that time of economic chaos and meaningless violence here and abroad. Oh, we’re kidding, for there is nothing new under the sun (which is known to feast on human hearts). But as a blind [...]
As part of some quest to search for meaning in his life in the wake of losing his teevee conspiracy show, Mormon comedy sensation Glenn Beck is wandering around the homeland of the Native Americans, Israel. This is all being breathlessly chronicled by The Blaze, Beck’s news-esque webzine. (BREAKING: Glenn ate some ice cream.) “‘It’s [...]
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has canceled his date with pop sensation Justin Bieber over the singer’s refusal to meet with children living in communities affected by Gaza rocket fire, Channel Two reported on Tuesday. The prime minister was scheduled to host the young singer at his office in Jerusalem on Wednesday evening, before Bieber’s Thursday [...]
Good morning, warmongers! Sunday marked eight years of Mission Accomplished in Iraq, and also the beginning of a fun new war in a different oil-rich nation, “Africa,” or something. We have been refreshing our RSS feed every thirty seconds for the last two hours, searching for some cheery news — “Barack Obama wins another Nobel [...]
Haha, did you think she was really going away? NEVER. Not until the last nickel is grifted! Sarah Palin is doing an International Lecture Tour, which will consist of one speech (in India, because why not?) and then a second stop in Fox News’ closest strategic American ally, Israel. You don’t just “go to India,” [...]
A visiting assistant anthropology professor at upstate New York’s Binghamton University may have found the actual “teeth of Jesus” in a prehistoric Israeli cave, experts say. If Jesus was truly alive between 200,000 and 400,000 years ago, it is possible that the eight teeth discovered in Qesem Cave might be the actual “teeth of the [...]
The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you’re so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal with Arab countries to vote for a statement saying it “does not accept the legitimacy of [...]
Israel has pundits, like every uncivilized civilized country on Earth. And they no longer care for this Obama fellow. “A Bullet in the Back from Uncle Sam,” writes one, Aviad Pohoryles, who sounds alternatively very Jewish and like he’s a friend of Harry Potter. Yes, it turns out the United States is supposed to support [...]
