• February 15, 2012

israel

Israel should change its name to “Iran,” because then Barack Obama would bake it a cake and be nice to it forever. [Matt Yglesias] An unemployed Frenchman will probably serve “life in Bagram” for hacking into the Presidential Twatter Account. [The Hill: Twitter Room] Michele Bachmann is literally Nostradamus because she correctly predicted that Obama [...]

Does the RNC think this is funny, endorsing the enemy’s language during America’s War on Israel? [GOP.com]

Deeply offensive human being and eternal Red Menace Van Jones is doing something green-related for domestic terrorist organization CAP. [Matt Yglesias] Did you know there are zero Taco Bell outlets in Havana, even though Cuba is so close to Mexico? Not only that, Cuba is without KFC stores or McDonald’s barfburger stands! Why does Castro [...]

By the Comics CurmudgeonHappy Friday, liberal weenies! Or should I say “suicidally depressing Friday,” because all of you are almost certainly suicidally depressed, what with the naked Republican Ted Kennedies and the coming corporate control of all elections and the bankruptcy of your precious liberal radio station! Anyway, like your liberal weenie foreparents, you will [...]

It took us so long to check it out, but we finally did, and guess what? Mitt Romney’s “Free and Strong America PAC” website has any number of funnies! There are all these videos of him yelling at Obama for doing things that Mitt Romney did like 20 times when he was governor of Massachusetts. [...]

Bank of America lost $1 billion—and your Wonkette editor’s debit card!!—in the third quarter. [New York Times] Do not read this, keep thy heart pure: Boy in the Balloon? Likely a publicity stunt. [New York Times] A weak dollar is good news for things that are made here and exported elsewhere. This is an important [...]

Why is Matt Yglesias such a self-loathing Jew? [Matt Yglesias] “Here was this guy Michael Savage screaming and ranting and raving about illegal immigration Islamofascism and you know it all started to click and make sense.” The End. [Think Progress] We love Erick Erickson and his enchanting stories about how Jesus denied illegal immigrant lepers [...]

Human Rights Watch is staffed by a bunch of dirty Plushophiliacs who break out the Jergens lotion every time Israel is attacked with pebbles and Estes rockets. [Commentary Magazine] Karl Rove is deeply concerned that America’s impressionable youth will forget to leave milk and cookies for Barack Obama on Ramadan. [Think Progress] Cantankerous wingnut lady [...]

The health care debate’s fifteen minutes are finally, finally up. Ugh, do you even remember all that? Anyway, Obama will now solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, America’s original synonym for “unable to be fixed with one swift gesture.” Obama’s (alleged!) new peace plan includes TEN swift gestures, which he will (allegedly!) present at a peace conference [...]

Solid gold, gold, gold! (Except for the shitty local ad in the beginning — sorry!) This insane hell-woman at a town hall in Las Vegas overhears an Israeli man praising Israel’s national health care system, and says from afar, “HEIL HITLER!” Then she calls him gay for Obama and laughs like a baby when he [...]

Very funny things happen when Mike Huckabee opens his mouth and says words about foreign policy. Remember the above clip from one of those hilarious 2008 GOP primary debates? He just had no idea what to say! And things don’t seem to have changed much, given today’s very confident declaration of no-peace.

Oh man, Newsweek. We were all prepared to just ignore this, to make it die, because JESUS, but the copy editors closed the deal nicely with this subhed: “Peace Partners: Bush and Obama could play good-cop, bad-cop with Israel.” OH COME ON. Fine, here’s a quick mockery of your broke magazine’s pornographic web-dung.

By the Comics Curmudgeon Last week your Comics Curmudgeon tackled two very important tropes in the world of political cartooning: pooping and huge boners. “Ha ha,” you say, “surely it can’t get any worse pooping and huge boners!” Well, just as attempted teenage furry statutory rape was soon topped by actually implemented furry dog rape, [...]

Think tanks have this magical ability to fix all the evil in the world, just by thinking. This week they solve the Middle East crisis (ABOUT TIME) and explain how the financial crisis has affected everyone from children to small animals to the newest crop of starving, underpaid/unpaid interns in DC.  And the Heritage Foundation [...]

Monstrous wingnut Joseph Ratzinger somehow became pope a few years ago — this is because of ancient Catholic-Sith rules dictating that each “good pope” must be followed by a “loathsome beast.” But Ratzi is unique even among the Sith Popes, for he is the first Bishop of Rome to be an actual Nazi, for Hitler, [...]