japan
Lady Liberty cried quietly in her room with a pint of chocolate ice cream after hearing that an Indiana prosecutor and GOP activist sent USDA certified organic asshole Scott Walker a friendly email, urging him to “employ an associate who pretends to be sympathetic to the unions’ cause to physically attack you (or even use [...]
When your editor was in Japan last week, he was comforted by nuclear experts coming on the CNN International and informing their anchors they were wrong when they said the leaky reactors were going to turn everyone across the country and Pacific Ocean into Giga Pudding. But teevee judge/raging idiot Nancy Grace is not going [...]
Sorry we forgot to post about America getting into a war with Muammar Gaddafi again. What with the radiation cloud headed across the Pacific from some melting nuclear hellscape and the air strikes on Gaddafi’s Libya, we can probably be forgiven for thinking, “Eh, it’s just those incredible mushrooms and also that MDMA and probably [...]
It all makes sense now! Uhh, sorry. [YouTube]
Here’s the latest episode of the never-ending reality series, Why Nobody Trusts the Government: Everybody on the West Coast is freaking out because the radioactive plume is reaching North America today, from the melting nuclear plants in Japan, and everybody would probably really like some comforting, hourly updates along the lines of “Yep, we’re talking [...]
He doesn’t even answer our emails, and we pay him (a little), but here’s your wayward afternoon guy Jack Stuef doing a Q&A with Juli Weiner because they have Porno Twitters in Brooklyn or something: Are people wearing radiation masks? Do you get a sense for how nervous you’re supposed to be? Many people are [...]
The good news (?) is that the State Department has begun rescuing Americans and their families from the quake/tsunami/radiation-battered northeast coast of Japan. The bad news is that the rescue is just a bus to Tokyo, and you’ll need to sign a form promising to pay the bus fare. Still, rescue! And with some 80,000 [...]
Japan raised the nuclear alert level at Fukushima from four to five on a seven-point international scale for atomic incidents, making this nightmare just two “points” away from Chernobyl! (That’s a nice way to imagine it, in “points.” Just like in College Basketball March Madness!) The head of the International Atomic Energy Agency referred to [...]
Everybody suffers in their own way, okay? Don’t judge! Sometimes when somebody loves a fish in a very special way, that person is unhappy when the fish can’t be shipped from Japan, on the other side of the world.
It has been nearly a week now, and the crisis in Japan only seems to be getting more terrible, so it’s time for the world’s religious people to start finding a deity to blame for the devastation in Japan! We long ago figured it was the Irish god, Saint Patrick, because it’s his “Holy Week” [...]
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s celebrate by bombing Libya: “The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. raised the possibility of ‘going beyond a no-fly zone,’” but didn’t specify when the United States would save all the oil from oppression — causing major blue balls in diplomatic circles. Remember two days ago when Barack Obama said he [...]
The LA Times is so full of dumb, offensive, weeks-late stuff that it’s always a shock to get a new, coherent report that seems to reflect the current News Situation: Small amounts of radioactive isotopes from the crippled Japanese nuclear power plant are being blown toward North America high in the atmosphere over the Pacific [...]
Did everybody enjoy the “jobless recovery” of the past two years? Because, uhh …. The American stock markets plunged more than 2% today as everybody freaks out about the dismal housing numbers, the continuing craziness in oil-producing Middle East/North African nations, another round of the European debt crisis and (of course) the nuclear horror show [...]
