jesus fucking christ
Not to spread the funny news too thick today, but have you glanced at the business headlines? The stock markets have not reacted too well to the awful lack-of-employment numbers, with the Dow Jones Index plunging 325 points — that’s three-and-a-quarter percent and well under 10,000 and all the other markets looking similarly terrible. And [...]
Hard to find even the Gallows Humor in this story, so maybe we won’t even try. Maybe it’s time to admit that large chunks of America are in the hands of unreconstructed racists and vulgar idiots, and that the popular election of a black man as president just might’ve pushed these furious, economically doomed old [...]
Famous abstinence activist/teen mom Bristol Palin is hitting the lecture circuit to teach teen moms how to deal with the poverty that usually accompanies teen pregnancy: Go on the lecture circuit and make up to $30,000 per hour — if your mom is famous wingnut Sarah Palin, that is. WE REPEAT: dumb teenager Bristol Palin, [...]
The Supreme Court and the Obama Administration and the Troops/Veterans and Jesus all got together to try to keep an illegal goddamned religious statue in Mojave National Preserve, but guess what? The Devil is stronger, because He Is Legion, and the dumb/hideous Mojave Cross Made of Plumbing Pipe was cut down by Heroes and now [...]
YES, ARIZONA REALLY HATES THE MEXICANS: Hey Mexicans, guess what else is officially illegal in Arizona now, besides being/looking Mexican: Thinking about Mexicans, and talking like Mexicans. “Heavily accented” teachers are now being culled from Arizona’s public schools, and all “ethnic studies” classes are now banned. CRUSH THE DECADENT MEXICAN CULTURE NOW! HEIL BREWER! [Newser/Wall [...]
A bunch of paranoid gun fanatics will gather today at two federal parks on the Virginia side of the Potomac, taking advantage of new federal legislation signed by President Barack Obama, and using a federal park permit, to protest the federal government taking away the rights of paranoid gun fanatics to brandish their weapons and [...]
Two things need to be outlawed, if we are truly to reclaim our Nation’s Freedom: child voice slavery and the computer program “GarageBand.” Also: FEMA death panel for anyone who does a terrible lip sync to their own terrible computer song. All three of these Crimes Against Freedom are on display in the above video, [...]
Good news, oppressed white slobs of the South! This year, you can finally escape the cruel fate of being a worthless minority by declaring your Racist Heritage on the U.S. Socialist Census. Awesome? In response to the race question on Line Nine of the form, something called the “Southern Legal Resource Center” — in no [...]
Have you heard that CNN hired the blog Red State to be its new political commentator, to keep up with Glenn Beck or whatever? It is true. And the blog Red State is super-double crazy, which is fine and all, but now it is advocating some kind of insane “The Joker vs. Batman” wave of [...]
Hey, uhh, this is great! This will DO IT. You people are safe from getting medical care when you fall off your roof again, hooray!
Hilarious gay socialist Eric Massa has finally told the true story behind his “inappropriate remarks to a staffer,” and you know, after reading his sincere account, we have to agree that nothing weird happened at all, just some totally normal red-blooded American Straight Man having fun at a wedding, drinking fifteen gin & tonics and [...]
There’s a cheery new article in the Atlantic about how this country will never ever recover and nobody will ever have jobs again — especially the youth and the “working class,” both of whom have actually been not having jobs while living pathetic wrecked lives for a decade or so before the Great Recession.
John McCain, remember this guy? He was the frightening old monster who spent last fall occasionally peeping out from behind Sarah Palin’s skirts as she spent $150,000 on Nieman Marcus red patent leather hot pants for her six-year-old and warned America about terrorist pals. John McCain wanted to be president because he crashed his plane [...]
Political perfection has been attained: A Paultard somewhere loaned his VHS recording of Peter Jackson’s Misty Mountain Hop from the TNT basic-cable channel to a Teabagger with a big idea: Somehow, hobbits is about Obama, the black person. Merry fucking christmas. [YouTube via "Rev. Peter"]
