jesus
The entire Western Hemisphere is unemployed but surprise surprise, the U.S. Senate is too busy playing grab-ass with hott celebs to even feign interest. [The Caucus] Matt published super-private emails sent to him by Jonathan Strong, of Daily Caller JournoList muckraking fame. And now everyone knows Jonathan Strong’s secret phone number, so dial those digits [...]
A policeman punched a teen-aged girl directly in the face — something new for your police brutality YouTube Playlist. [Hit & Run] Nikki Haley overflows with the spirit of Jesus. Then there is evil Gresham Barrett, who is the anti-Christ and moonlights as an abortion clinic. [RedState] Alan Dershowitz warned Jan Schakowsky what would happen [...]
A six-story-tall statue of Jesus’ torso known as “Big Butter Jesus” and/or “Touchdown Jesus” — because what is wrong with people? — was struck by lightning and burned to the ground last night. The vulgar landmark was built in 2004 outside some mall church in the outskirts of Cincinnati. “It was made of plastic foam [...]
Tracy Jackson, you have made very poor choices in life. You are pretty and reasonably young. And yet you *allegedly* let this gross old Jesus Freak Republican Family Values Congressman climb all over you and hump on you. Also, Tracy Jackson, Fox News reports that you are *also* married. UPDATE: Oh you think you can [...]
When Wonkette “editor” Ken Layne declared that he was going to drive to the site of the stolen Jesus Cross in California’s Mojave Desert yesterday, most of us assumed that this was his latest excuse to hitchhike to the nearest McDonald’s and drink a liter of vodka, as he does every afternoon. We still believe [...]
The Supreme Court and the Obama Administration and the Troops/Veterans and Jesus all got together to try to keep an illegal goddamned religious statue in Mojave National Preserve, but guess what? The Devil is stronger, because He Is Legion, and the dumb/hideous Mojave Cross Made of Plumbing Pipe was cut down by Heroes and now [...]
A fun new study by that Pew Research group finds that only 65% of “millennials” (young adults) consider themselves to be Christian, and only half of the alleged Christians even understand the central tenet of the religion: That the Jesus character is the only way to be “saved” by God, the purported “second daddy” of [...]
We know. We know you did not sleep last night for the same reason we didn’t: Mike Huckabee still hasn’t made a decision about running for president in 2012. Even though it is still early 2010, what’s the damn holdup? Some of us are trying to max out on donations here! Let’s see what is [...]
Oh you thought ACORN went away forever? You are an April Fool because ACORN is just “reinventing” itself and when its good and ready it’ll resurrect and freak everyone out, just as Jesus once did. [RedState] Andrew Sullivan has a new Internet hobby: Looking at pictures of dudes with beards eating cupcakes. [The Daily Dish] [...]
Hmm so why are Wonkette’s lazy-ass “you’d think they’d notice it’s a Recession” writers posting even less than usual? Jesus’ solstice birthday! (And, uhh, the whole next two weeks.) So here’s a special “Charlie Brown War On Xmas” collection of all the local-news reports on dumb fat fools seeing Jeebus everywhere. [Everything Is Terrible via [...]
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
The Freedom Tray is America’s Favorite New War On Xmas Fad! Wonkette artistic contributor Lauri Apple made this beautiful representation of Jesus himself enjoying all the fruits of Amerikkka, in His own Laz-E-Boy porta potty. And legitimate newspaper the News-Observer has published a lovely history of the Freedom Tray, which was created by a team [...]
