joe barton
Republican caucus! Republican caucus! Look what Joe Barton made! He put together a slideshow about how he will be the best Energy and Commerce chairman ever. He worked really hard on it, as you can see from the slide above comparing the denying of access to health care to being the good guys in World [...]
What does being the only man in America to apologize to BP for this past summer’s oil spill get you? Why, the chairmanship of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, of course! Joe Barton is still somehow the ranking Republican member of that committee, so he will probably get that job, even though his party [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Pictures From The Most Important Baseball Game Ever
Last night was the much anticipated Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game and somehow your Wonkabout convinced our dearly departed editor Jim Newell to join her for the adventure. New editor Jack refused to leave his home, cats and whatever, and missed the annual Wonkette field trip. At the Big Game Republicans and Democrats showed off [...]
Has Joe Barton stopped apologizing about his BP comment and letting himself be paddled by Republican leaders and come back around to knowing he was right when he said it? Dave Weigel. SHOOK DOWN (looked at) Joe Barton’s Twitter account, and it would appear so! This tweet directs “readers” to an American Spectator article that [...]
Remember when everybody was so outraged about actual Oil Industry Millionaire Joe Barton apologizing to BP for all the trouble America caused by allowing BP to destroy the entire Gulf of Mexico? And the GOP House leadership dragged Barton into a back room and slapped his cheeks gently with their flaccid old orange penises? And [...]
Tony Hayward Sees No Problem Attending Good Ol’-Fashioned Down-Home Saturday Yacht Race
by Jack Stuef
Oh yeah, good idea, people totally won’t get all pissed off and populisty about you going to watch your yacht compete in a yacht race, Tony Hayward. That will definitely ingratiate you with the small people of the Gulf Coast. It’s just like their favorite sport, NASCAR. NASCAR has its roots in bootleggers modifying their [...]
Tony Hayward’s Greatest Hits; BP’s Well Partner Says Disaster ‘Preventable’
by Ken Layne
Here’s a charming video showing all the times Tony Hayward said “I don’t recall” or “Not my fault” or “Sorry, can’t hear you!” during his testimony before Joe Barton’s Oil Industry Fan Club on Thursday. Seems like just yesterday when people would put up all kinds of “mashups” or whatever, about Current Events, but only [...]
Everybody — Even John Boehner! — Hates Oil-Industry Whore Joe Barton
by Ken Layne
It was hardly a good day for BP CEO Tony Hayward, who mumbled “I don’t recall” and “I was not part of that decision making process” enough times to qualify for the Iran-Contra Memorial Bullshit Award. But Tony must be resting a little more comfortably tonight knowing that one of his own supposed tormentors on [...]
Here is the corporate troll and traitor Joe Barton (R-Texas) apologizing to BP for the terrible inconvenience America has caused BP, and also promising to move back to communist-land because he hates America so much. Now a Republican congressman from Florida wants Barton kicked off the energy committee for being such a dildo.
Heroic Joe Barton Defies Death To Look At Oil Slick From Airplane
by Jim Newell
Comical Texas Rep. Joe Barton sure as hell does not want one iota of added oversight to the oil industry as a result this “insane oil spill” liberal conspiracy theory. But he cares, anyway.
SUNDAY SPECIAL: Stupid Pictures From Last Week’s Most Important Congressional Baseball Game Ever
by Jim Newell
You didn’t think we’d forgotten the baseball post, did you? Never! Our full coverage of last week’s annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game was always destined to come on Sunday, because Sunday is a day for watching baseball after Church. This was always the plan. Always. Always time infinity. (Lies.) So let’s take a photo [...]
Amphetamine-Tongued Warlock Breaks Into Congress, Frightens Joe Barton
by Jim Newell
Comical Texas Rep. Joe Barton’s War on Gorillas intensified earlier today when he threatened to force poor, overworked clerks to read the entire 900-page Waxman-Markey energy bill aloud in committee, including his 450 obnoxious amendments about kicking Henry Waxman in the penis. Waxman responded by traveling to the seedy underbelly of Satan’s Hell to contract [...]
Here’s your recent Wonkette obsession, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, fighting the gorilla, which he will do daily as long as this Waxman-Markey energy bill is up for debate. In today’s session, Barton explains that fuel-efficient cars are not fuel-efficient, carbon dioxide is in the delightful beverage Coca-Cola, there is no evidence of higher carbon [...]
Opossum-eyed Jesus geologist Joe Barton, Republican Congressman from Texas, signaled his intent last month to stop the liberal Waxman-Markey energy bill — the one with cap-and-trade, which is about hamburgers — with traditional adult methods of opposition: “I’m going to be the sneaky little guy that pops up from behind the bush and fights the [...]
The AP on America’s Smartest Legislator, the Stumper: “Republican Rep. Joe Barton of Texas said Friday that efforts to tinker with the BCS are bound to fail. He told a House hearing that the BCS is like communism and can’t be fixed. Barton has introduced legislation that would prevent the NCAA from labeling a game [...]
