• February 13, 2012

joe biden

Disgusting. [Twitter]

Here is an example of Joe Biden saying something that’s basically common sense advice, but it still sounds kind of jackass-y because, well, Joe Biden is saying it about the nation’s desperate jobless people. Asked what the nation’s 25 million unemployed and underemployed people should do, what with the jobless rate basically unchanged (and terrible) [...]

Joe Biden loves Hosni Mubarak! He hasn’t actually chatted on the phone with Da Hoz for three whole days, but they’re super close, no “limited profile” friending for them, haha! And Mubarak is NOT a dictator. He’s president! It says so right before his name. Mubarak wins elections, too. He really wins. Let’s see Barack [...]

How many awful, corrupt U.S. client states in the Middle East will collapse under the weight of immense daily protests? The anti-government movement in Egypt makes its biggest show today, with massive numbers of people filling the streets of nearly every big town. Hosni Mubarak’s government has responded in a slow, plodding way but is [...]

Vice President Joe Biden’s communications director Jay Carney is expected to be named the new White House Press Secretary, likely on Friday when a series of other big staff moves will be announced by President Obama, according to a senior Democratic source familiar with the process. A carney? What a political CIRCUS. Har har har [...]

Thankfully, Uncle Joe was sitting too far back to grab hold of the microphone and take the opportunity to tell us how beautiful the country looked last night. [thanks to Wonkette operative "Matt N."]

Our modern-day Richard Dawson had a single tip for every single female child in the Capitol building yesterday. And then he traded a three-year-old a mint for a piece of paper. (Watch it here, the brilliantly titled “Biden Smooth Talks Senator’s Son.”) If you were watching them read the thing on C-SPAN today, you will [...]

Look Barry, if you want us to update our addresses for you so your band of merry organizer children can come and harass us for all of 2012, you should have asked us yourself. Don’t send Joe Biden and this Mitch guy to pretend we were the ones who convinced Lisa Murkowski and Scott Brown [...]

Christine O’Donnell has put out a press release about her investigation by the FBI for misuse of her campaign funds, spent on personal expenses and a hovel-condo where she cooked lost children, presumably. Somehow, the press has not taken this statement and immediately reprinted the important facts it has brought to light. “So given that [...]

From coast to coast, America is getting plenty of winter weather — and just in time for winter, too. Weather predicting people say these trends may continue all the way to Christmas. Whether this is a “good thing” or a “bad thing” depends very much on your planned activities for the holidays. For instance, those [...]

Democrats are a little upset that Obama hung out with Congress’ Republican leadership and came back with one of their matching “Tax Cuts Forever”-scripted leather jackets, so they’re not sure they will go along with his breathtaking cave (ooh! pretty stalactites!) on the issue. But Obama is very determined for his party in the legislature [...]

Merry Jewmas, freaks! By “freaks” I of course mean “all Wonketteers,” not just the Jews. You see, this Season of Light has given me time to reflect that each and every one of you is a disgusting excuse for a carbon-based life form, regardless of which obscure imaginary desert god you pray to on the [...]

Oh no, WikiLeaks has released 400,000 pages from the US Army’s Secret Iraqi Death And Torture Scrapbook! Julian Assange is un-American for putting these documents on his website — mostly because Julian Assange is Australian. Anyway, how does the average, Joe Six Pack Iraqi feel about this historic leak, which shows that Iraqi civilians are [...]

Oh, the Democrat in the U.S. Senate Christine O’Donnell would work well with would be Hillary Clinton! That’s very interesting. You see, Christine O’Donnell somehow knows she will be allowed on the Committee on Foreign Relations. This would certainly be a smart move by the Republican leadership, putting all their insular Teabagging troglodytes on that [...]

It’s your fun vice president, Joe Biden! Why won’t he get into the SUV-limousine thing like his security team keeps telling him? Because this is Wilmington, and Joe Biden knows every single person in town, so he keeps jabbering to everybody (endangering America).