jon huntsman
Thursday night at a fundraiser in Harlem, Obama was having a way better time than the Republican candidates, and at one point broke into song, honoring Reverend Al Green, who was at the event. Obama sang “Let’s Stay Together” (indeed) for about six seconds, in the middle looking down at the podium for a reflective [...]
Huntsman daughters Abby, Liddy and Mary Anne had a couple of great videos during their dad’s mercurial campaign. They were the only entertaining part — besides, maybe, “Did you hear what I just said?” — of the whole thing. But their best work was never actually released…until now! An ABC News station got a hold [...]
Rick Perry is finally dropping out of the Republican race Thursday, and will endorse Newt Gingrich because it’s just more fun that way. He will now return in shame to Texas to command-in-chief his Burundi-sized army and obsessively read over all his old emails to Jesus for clues about why Jesus dumped him and maybe [...]
While being an openly gay Republican seems about as sane as carrying a nail-studded two-by-four around so you can mutilate yourself on the half-hour, the “Log Cabin Republicans” continue to be an actual thing. And they have put out a statement about tonight’s exciting New Hampshire primary results. They’re quite pleased with the results! “By [...]
Mitt Crazy Eyes/9000/My Twinn Doll Romney has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary, seizing 37.3 percent of the vote, according to AP, with 43 percent of precincts reporting as of the time that this post was delivered to the Internet. Ron Paul is second with 23.4 percent, and Jon Huntsman scurried up [...]
As of two hours ago, the fickle folk of the Granite State have begun voting in the first-in-the-nation primary. Last night, the registered voting population of the petite hamlet of Dixville Notch launched the primary season with their weird tradition of voting 11 hours before everybody else. Nine people showed up. Due to History and [...]
Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
The New Hampshire contingent of Paultards is stooping to core-of-the-earth lows today with a new ad featuring Napster-era audio quality, proof alone that the ad was definitely not made by Paul’s official moneybags campaign, but the freaks on the fringe of the fringe, who are still learning how to use a computer. In the ad, [...]
Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight on January 4, that being the first day of the rest our lives following tonight’s roll in the Iowa hay. While perfectly legal — there’s no limit to the amount of [...]
‘Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses recoiling from strange Iowa smells, Of corn syrup fields, and thick [...]
OH JOY let us all gather round our dusty ‘puter screens with our booze supplies, since the Homeland Security Department decided to half-assedly nuke America’s television sets (not that we even own one these days), so that we may together witness the Xmas miracle of a bunch of screaming devil millionaire slobs argue over how [...]
Oh, is America’s only Communist Republican Jon Huntsman “still campaigning?” Yes, according to his last three remaining supporters, his daughters. Here they are costumed variously as John Bolton and Groucho Marx, to poke fun at Herman Cain’s super shady campaign manager Mark Block from the freedom-hating “Smoking Man” ad. No smoking, though! That is not [...]
ARE WE ARE AT WAR, ALREADY? Here is the JESUS WEEN, watching Herman Cain and Rick Perry preside over the flogging of Jesus-hater Nazi Pope common-sense rapist Mitt Romney while he sobs over the corpse of a spider, who is Michele Bachmann. It is a metaphor for all of American Capitalism. LET US CONTINUE watching [...]
