kentucky
Anti-statist Senate candidatista Rand Paul didn’t actually finish college because he did well on his MCAT and got into Duke Medical School, which is actually sort of “bad-ass.” Now, according to Gentlemen’s Quarterly, it turns out “Randy” Paul was part of a SECRET SOCIETY at Baylor made mostly of LIBRULS who smoked POT and did [...]
A few months ago, Rand Paul said some things that maybe didn’t go over so well vis-a-vis coal miners dying in explosions and black people getting their take-out food from the kitchen entrance. This caused him to go into seclusion, hiding from the press and their “gotcha” questions about policy positions he holds and laws [...]
Farmer-taunting U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul has a new scheme to make himself look popular and beloved by the American nation: a “friend bomb” campaign on Facebook. “The goal is to have over 100,000 fans who ‘Like’ Rand’s Page,” says the page itself. It’s good to have goals! And your goal in all this? To [...]
Dr. Rand Paul has been somewhat quiet of late, after realizing that saying the things he actually thinks is not the world’s greatest idea. But, despite Sharron Angle’s revolutionary new political science theories, sometimes you have to appear before the voters and speak words, aloud. So Rand Paul did this, in a joint appearance with [...]
At one time, Kentucky U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul was the hero of Teabaggers everywhere, but now they are sad and (wait for it) angry that he has accepted campaign contributions from people at a fundraiser IN WASHINGTON, DC, OF ALL PLACES. How could he go there and do that to us? Rand Paul is [...]
Senate candidate Rand Paul has a lot of new, interesting ideas. On the immigration issue, your average Republican would just mumble something about building a fence at the Mexican border. Not Rand Paul! Paul has come up with his own fence idea. Instead of building one above ground, it will be underground, where the Mexicans [...]
Oh, you’ve read a quote from Rand Paul saying the unemployed should stop complaining and get a job already? The Louisville Courier-Journal sees that and raises you a “here’s a whole bunch of quotes of Rand Paul saying crazy things about random government regulations and stuff Republicans hold dearly.” Certainly there are a lot of [...]
You know, OCCASIONALLY your Wednesday-Friday morning editor feels kind of bad about piling onto a particular politician, no matter how odious/loopy his or her views. I mean, they’ve gotten pretty far in life, so probably they’re smarter than the out-of-context quotes in the “gotcha media” would imply, right? Plus, isn’t it just laziness on our [...]
Even though Rand Paul is a mean Kentucky whore who’s only in position to become a United States Senator because his wacky father is popular on Internet message boards, this is kind of terrible, that CNN thinks it’s controversial (and then Not As Controversial, when they realized he was just saving money this way) for [...]
Doctor Senator Rand Paul is America’s greatest case of nepotism and whoreishness. Not only is he much meaner than his kindly old radical father, the deity Ron, but on the foreign policy side, there aren’t very many (and will probably be ZERO by the time this campaign ends) similarities to his father’s minimalist war & [...]
Can you believe after all these years/months, the career of Arlen Specter and/or the hit teevee show I’m Lost finally ends, right now? Let’s liveblog the greatest election ever in mid-May 2010. Rand Paul is already the absolute King of Kentucky, and all new hillbilly children will be named “Ayn,” but what about the 80-year-old [...]
RAND PAUL IS PRESIDENT OF KENTUCKY: The MSNBC has just called it and Doctor Senator Rand Paul, son of TOMMY JEFFERSON AND JESUS AND GUY FAWKES COMBINED, is projected to beat Trey Grayson, “some guy,” in the Kentucky Senate primary. Congratulations Doctor Rand Paul! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!
Your editor “Jim” here has not been able to think of anything funny or interesting to write all afternoon and apologizes for that. (Not really.) Various evil forces are destroying his stomach. So just read the POLITICO for important primary coverage tonight. Look at how excited and healthy they are about politics right now, whipping [...]
Well, what do you know, Tea Party Paultards are harassing other voters in Kentucky, and “State and local officials say backers of Republican U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul have been removed by sheriff’s deputies from an eastern Kentucky polling place after complaints that they were harassing voters,” and the Rand-Paultards have also been kicked out [...]
Wonkette operative Bearbloke just sent the newsroom a very troubling message: “My mate in California informed me that his father is a FULL-BLOWN Birther candidate for the U.S. Senate from Kentucky, running for Sen. Bunning’s seat in today’s primary election!” Check out Gurley Martin, who has two loves: fine ass women and fancy cars. But [...]
