levi johnston
Is there anything left to add to the dumb saga of Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston’s eternal(ly profitable) turf war over the banal story of things going in and out of Bristol Palin’s uterus? NO, except for ONE HILARIOUS/DUMB THING, courtesy of the miserable AP reporter assigned to cull dirt from an advance copy of Levi Johnston’s [...]
What are the bitter, unemployed naked young people in Wasilla doing these days between meth come downs? Still aborting America’s collective remaining brain cells one by one with the gale-force toxic winds of their regularly scheduled rants rehashing the gross details of Bristol Palin’s achievements in unprotected sex? Yes, is your answer. Secondary Palin family [...]
Are we still talking about the sex lives of former teenagers in Alaska during the Sexy Summer of ’08? Well then, Levi Johnston’s sister, Mercede Johnston, has a hot new blog review of Bristol’s teen vampire fiction, Not Afraid of Publicity. According to Levi’s sister, who knows all about what Bristol did that summer because [...]
Like everything this kid does, this will end up being a boring disappointment. (EXCEPT FOR THE MIRACLE OF LIFE/REALITY SHOWS/PRO-LIFE MONEY HE [GOD] GAVE BRISTOL. THANK YOU, SPERM! EXCEPT DON’T THANK YOU, BECAUSE ABSTINENCE.) But this is slightly amusing. [Amazon]
Playgirl model and father of at least one “Palin baby” Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume: literary sensation. Levi, who became famous for impregnating one of Sarah Palin’s children, is the author of the forthcoming Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. C’mon, Levi, those are just [...]
According to the world’s most trusted news source, some celebrity website we’ve never heard of, Levi Johnston’s sister Mercede is going to pose nude for Playboy. Why? And why now? Well, America collectively said, “Who? What? Sure,” when they were asked if they wanted to see Levi Johnston’s gonads in Playgirl, and it turns out [...]
America’s princess, Bristol Palin, did an exclusive phone-in with these two minor-market FM morning show announcers all about the mysteries of her life — and she called in from her Arizona stucco ghetto foreclosure about 50 miles outside of Phoenix, surrounded by garbage and cotton fields and bits of rock, and you can almost see [...]
It is ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL that Levi Johnston would trade on his Palin fame by appearing in a music video. That family’s life is private and should not be exploited for money. What’s that? Teenage girls’ anti-abortion hero and Dancing with the Stars personality Bristol Palin is appearing in a music video also? Well good for [...]
Remember when Levi Johnston went and made some dumb music video? Of course you do, because this fact is important to your survival as a living being on Earth. Well, now this music video is available on an Internet box, so you can watch Levi Johnston humping some 50-year-old woman who is supposed to be [...]
Hey now! It’s new MSNBC gotcha journalist Lawrence O’Donnell! He’s got a show on that teevee librul treehouse now. The show features animated clouds floating over the New York City skyline behind O’Donnell’s head, chiefly. But yesterday it also featured Levi Johnston, and Lawrence O’Donnell asked Levi serious foreign policy questions, because Lawrence O’Donnell is [...]
Internet municipal-election registration-document compendium TMZ has obtained Levi Johnston’s Alaska Public Offices Commission letter of intent to run for office in Wasilla. Apparently Levi is running for “City of Wasilla 2011.” Is it possible to be elected a city rather than just elected to an office of that city? IT’S UP TO THE VOTERS.
If you are not following MercedeJohnston.com, your number one source of Johnston-related news, then you, my friend, are not following life. How, for instance, can you be keep up with the latest details of the custody arrangements Levi and Bristol have made over Track Tank Tripp? How will you know about the latest Bristol-Mercede Facebook [...]
Hmm, seems like Jimmy Kimmel is talking to all the major 2010 candidates. At 3:11 here, Kimmel tries to set up a lame joke about arresting the Palins by asking if Johnston would be in charge of the police force as mayor of Wasilla. Inanely (and of course incorrectly), Johnston says no. Stop making things [...]
Our New Hampshire colony is reeling today with the break of a major Facebook controversy: State House candidate Keith Halloran commented on an article about Ted Stevens’ plane crash that somebody posted on Facebook, saying, “Just wish Sarah and Levy were on board.” Apparently not everyone in America is expressing this sentiment about our once [...]
Good god, we’ve gone several hours without a Levi Johnston update! Yesterday, we all learned of Young Levi’s political plans: He wants to run for mayor of Wasilla, because he heard about this other idiot who managed to become mayor of Wasilla. But his bastard child’s sketchy old granny (Sarah Palin) isn’t even mayor of [...]
