Mexican-hating hill troll Tom Tancredo vanished from America the day Barack Obama became the black president with two mommies (Hawaii and Kansas). MORE »

Oh look, former Wonkette “Pornographer to the Stars” and current Washington Times gossip reporter Liz Glover went on the MSNBC teevee this weekend during a rare furlough from her regular job selling knick-knacks in the ghetto for the glory & prestige of Rev. Moon. She and her “less eccentric” (media-trained) partner discuss things that you will not want to hear about at all, like fashion and the power-politics dynamic of the White House Correspondents Dinner, but it’s fun to watch Liz randomly dancing and putting on props and breaking her microphone completely. [YouTube]

MORE CONTESTS! Here, go vote for “local blogger” Jim Newell and “local yoga celebrity” Liz Glover in this popularity contest run by Atlanta’s “Creative Loafing” freebie. So fun, to click things! We are on the road to Recovery. [CityPaper]

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi proves her support of Funding for the Arts. [The NewsRoom]

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t have ALL the excitement. Now let’s check out some sexytime photos for you losers who didn’t fly in for this one night or were too cold to leave your houses. MORE »

If this works, you are watching LIVE sexytime video from the famous Wonkette ‘09 Inaugural Party, hooray! UPDATE: Nobody ever turned on the Web-Cam, sorry. Put your camera-phone links and general hijinx in the comments!

TRUE RUMORS: Last week our Liz Glover was running from the demon clutches of Dick Cheney, and this week she’s … leaving us! For the Washington Times. For realz. All the more reason you should RSVP now to the Wonkette 2009 Inauguration Ball at Liz Glover’s Capitol Hill yoga circus. We will have much more about this Stunning Personnel Change, including a Farewell Video from Liz, but for now we post this because those slimeballs at Fishbowl DC somehow heard the secret news. [Fishbowl DC]

To honor Barack Obama’s swearing-in as the first Luo president of America, ever, your Wonkette is hosting a sexy sexy party this Friday — yes, the one that’s in two days! Ha ha! And it’s free for everyone, with the musics and the alcohols. America’s videographer Liz Glover will play host at her very own yoga studio to boot! Oh boy! Details! MORE »

Here’s our own Liz Glover at some Republican event, doing her thing, when SUDDENLY Dick Cheney smelled the blood of someone under 60 years old and wobbled over and killed her and ate her brain/heart just after the police took this tragic photo. Get well soon, Liz! Who is that in the middle, Lynne Cheney with a hair extension? Madonna? Let’s go with Britney Spears. This is a picture of Liz Glover, Britney Spears and Dick Cheney, the end.

Wonkette videographer and local hero Liz Glover covered an Obama rally Wednesday in Leesburg, a rich person’s town in Northern Virginia. Who cares what Obama said — probably HOPE HOPE HOPE BLAH PFFT — Liz was more interested in the McCain-Palin fans who showed up just to stare at all of the liberals. Here’s one fella she met, a professional in the very reckless industry that is currently destroying the global economy, thanks. He is worried about “Socialism” and hates all of the Illegal Mexicans with whom he, uh, works. [YouTube]

Your associate editor was prepared to go to this funny-sounding debate party last Friday at the D.C. headquarters of libertarian masturbation pamphlet Reason, one for which Bob Barr was invited to yell at Obama and McCain on the teevee, live. Ineffectiveness and vanity on this level is, of course, the very essence of libertarianism. So instead your editor incoherently liveblogged from home, viciously drunk (sorry!) and FAR AWAY from the old yelling octoroon. But Liz Glover went in our stead, and she brought a sidekick! MORE »