Wonkette

Last night, your “Polaroid Liz” Glover went to some party in Denver called like, “James Carville’s Cajun Bayou Bash!” No but really: it was some hokey New Orleans stereotype-athon, hosted by James Carville, to show support for HURRICANE KATRINA. Here’s how Liz describes Carville at his own creepy party: “I got a contact high from the bourbon coming out of his pores.” And here they are in gritty ’70s porn lighting.

We sent our Liz Glover and Jim Newell to the Reason happy hour/cocktail party that the Reason staff has every month to celebrate putting out their monthly issue. And then we waited for the funny report, and the fun video, but it never showed up, so we will just run this transcript that seems to cover what did or didn’t happen. It’s the “new journalism.” MORE »

What dark human vice was engaged herein, June 12, 2008, among Wonketteers and thine ilk? MORE »

Here’s Washington Post “local color” writer Dana Milbank drinking somewhere and talking about Wonkette, for some reason, and how he doesn’t read it. And then he gets spooked, because what if Wonkette is actually there, videotaping him, in the form of Our Liz Glover? [Liz Glover]

Wonkette videographer Liz Glover is rapidly becoming the most famous person in Washington, D.C., and if you need proof, here she is partying with our city’s racist football team, the Redskins. She scored an invite to the 28th birthday party for Santana Moss, a very talented footballer! She meets a number of other All Stars there too — including Moss’ brother, “Sinorice” — and asks them about all the tragic hazing they play on the rookies, many of whom will be scarred permanently and later settle for dead-end jobs as Hill staffers. [Examiner]

How much fun was had in Washington on Saturday? This much. Two more horrific examples of why John McCain will be president, after the jump. MORE »

Brave Wonkette videographer Liz Glover risked her life Saturday to film America’s Best outside the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee, which has been already well documented on the Internet. On Liz’s travels, however, she sees some *Obama-supporting* Floridians who traveled to D.C. to make their vote count, a nut from effete San Francisco, a Hillary jack-in-the-box that’s on sale for 20 DOLLARS, a horse which she vaguely molests, and, of course, the necessary standard-bearers for any summit of nutjobs: LaRouchies. When asked to describe the overall experience, Liz writes, “I asked some of the protesters how much the Clintons were paying them to be there. Almost got beat up. Clinton supporters are very serious.” Liz clearly does not value Enfranchisement.

Do you know what we miss? We miss Sam Donaldson yelling questions at Ronald Reagan, and telling weird stories, and doing his “webcast” at the Republican and Democratic presidential conventions in 2000. Here, our own Liz Glover asks Sam to tell some stories, and good lord, does he oblige. This was at the Michael Kelly Awards over at the Atlantic Monthly’s office on Thursday night. (Yes we know Donaldson is on ABC’s This Week but we never wake up in time for that, due to booze.)

Wonkette’s Liz Glover had the opportunity last night to interview Arianna Huffington, founder of Daily Kos or something, about her new book and the nicknames she chooses for Tim Russert. When Liz is waiting for Arianna to sign her a copy of the book, some guy in line says “I know people that work for her,” presumably people who write for the Huffington Post. In other words, this guy knows any human being on earth.

Our very own videographer and Polaroid photographer Liz Glover sends this startling news to Wonkette Central Command: “ah the joys of being a pedestrian in our nation’s capitol. just almost got mowed down by cheney’s motorcade at connecticut and florida. the black suburbans on either side of his limo had what looked like swat teams seated in the back, windows down, with their automatic rifles - huge arse guns - streetsweepers - in full view. creepy. scary. maybe he’s returning to town now that the dc madam is dead. RIP DC Madam.” We think a potential manslaughter of Liz Glover means automatic impeachment.