lizard people
ARE DONALD RUMSEFELD AND DICK CHENEY LIZARD PEOPLE FROM OUTER SPACE WHO EAT HUMAN FLESH? For years, this is the one question the world has wanted to ask, as it is the only rational explanation for two beings that look human but in no way acted like it when they were in office. Yesterday, the [...]
What did NASA send your Wonkette for some reason? Secret plans for the new Chevrolet space shuttle? A wacky “mash up” video of NASA accidents? No! It’s even better/worse than all that: “NASA will hold a news conference at 2 p.m. EST on Thursday, Dec. 2, to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the [...]
What was this missile that lit up the sky over Los Angeles last night? Obviously, most smart people immediately thought this was the work of either the Pleiadians or the Reptilians, as Colleen Thomas warned us about yesterday. Yet, why didn’t it feel like we all exploded and died yesterday? And could it really be [...]
You feel that chill outside? No, of course you don’t. The weather is getting warmer and warmer right now. Why? Ex-communist and ex-Nazi Pleiadians and Lizard People, that’s why. Galaxy mother / BlogTalkRadio personality / future Fox News anchor Colleen Thomas has gone onto the YouTube from her well-appointed home to tell us that this [...]
With the exceptions of a “Rich Whitey Lady” now and then and the very occasional “Rich Black Guy” such as Barack Obama, in America the only people who win major elections are Rich Whiteys. So the only real surprise in this story about a guy named Rich Whitney suffering a typo that changed him to [...]
New Senate Majority Leader Sharron Angle is … crazy? Yes. She’s been hiding from reporters since her primary win against Chicken Lady, and only appears to tell her Teabagger supporters to ready their “Second Amendment remedies” to, you know, murder the elected government leaders in America.
RIP OFF YOUR MASKS, COLD-BLOODS!
In a statement that’s positive never to come back and haunt him, child ironist Bobby Jindal said he doesn’t think the government should be spending so much money monitoring possible natural disasters. [Top of the Ticket] Virginia Democrats will win the governorship by choosing to run against Sarah Palin. [CNN Political Ticker] This endless Minnesota [...]
ANCIENT SEX LIZARD MAKES BABIES: A gruesome, century-old cancer-ridden basilisk in New Zealand somehow impregnated another monster, and 11 baby Cockatrice hatched on Monday. Change is here! [National Geographic]
By now you have heard the very silly story of the jokester who wrote in “Lizard People” on his ballot, singlehandedly derailing the very complicated Senate election in Minnesota. Witness this group of Deciders trying to figure out if Lizard People is a known individual or not. What is sadder, the American election system or [...]
Let’s check in with our favorite state, where an unfunny television performer is locked in a Mexican Death Match with St. Paul sleazebag Norm Coleman’s wife’s legs. In other words, LIZARD PEOPLE FTW! A judge somewhere in Minnesota, this state where voters treat their ballots like kids’ menus, just ruled that Franken will not get [...]
So some 25-year-old doofus has come forward as the guy who wrote in Lizard People as the most palatable alternative to Al Franken or Norm Coleman representing the great state of Minnesota in the United States Senate. Lucas Davenport is America’s new Joe the Plumber! How long before he gets his own country music album?
