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The whole point of covering a John McCain presidential campaign for a major news outlet is to make (potentially sexy) friendships with McCain and his senior staff, so as to, uh, “know your subject better,” as some have described it. And now they never get to see each other anymore! And Obama is an asshole [...]
As your Wonkette waits for the plumber to fix the burst pipe in its own terrible DC house this Sunday morning, we’re comforted to find that we’re not alone. An anonymous emailer sends in this picture, allegedly of the famous spy museum in D.C., suffering from frozen/busted water pipes. The museum remains open, apparently, and [...]
Your Wonkette associate editor was buying his weekly “groceries” (frozen gravy-flavored bacon sticks and chocolate) at the Safeway on 14th & D sts. SE when suddenly his fellow customers screamed, “OMG IT’S OBAMA.” Then: “I want my picture taken with Obama.” Lastly: “Oh he’s just wax Obama.” Just kidding, your associate editor was the only [...]
Exclusive social networking site to the Confederacy, Late Night Shots, is participating in this sexy Georgetown Ball OBVS. Maybe Buffett will show up and bring the tunage! And dude we bet our bro Trenholm crushes at least six indie slutz by midnight. Also.
ODDLY HILARIOUS HYPERBOLIC QUOTES FROM CITY OFFICIALS WHO ARE FREAKING OUT OVER INAUGURATION LOGISTICS, TUESDAY EDITION: “It is going to be the most challenging day in the history of Metro.” [WTOP]
NEED MORE INFO PLZ: Wonkette olfactory operative “Lim” wrote earlier this morning, “I now corroborated with multiple people that downtown DC today smells like dog-shit. Everywhere you go, everything just smells like shit. What the hell is going on?” Lanny Davis. Lanny Davis is what’s going on. We have no idea, Limmy. If you, the [...]
Your Wonkette despises leaving the house, ever, except for such things as food, but even that can frequently come in the form of home delivery these days, what with the Internet and all. But it is Holiday season, alas, and we feel obligated to cover DC’s many terrible holiday parties! Last night, your Wonkette, along [...]
Hey if any of you far-away losers want to visit Washington D.C. on “vacation” soon, to teach your brat kids about America, now’s the grandest time of all! Because thanks to your $621 million in appropriated taxpayer funds — yes that’s right, 6, 2, and 1, glued together, a million of them, in dollars — [...]
Oh boy howdy here’s a winner of a party from our special friends at Late Night Shots, the exclusive invite-only social networking club for glib Georgetown trust-funders whose hearts belong to the Confederacy. The members were recently inspired by the playful cultural activities of the slaves on their plantations, and they’ve decided to throw an [...]
Here’s one for the children of Washington, D.C., with Wonkette’s own Liz Glover interviewing famous local hero rock star Ted Leo of the wonderful elitist band Ted Leo & The Pharmacists outside a Black Cat show last week. He talks about some obscure album someone made once, because that is what indie rock people do [...]
Local Wonkette operative “Charlotte” (who is “home sick from work” today, so wish her a speedy recovery/death!) sends us this photo of her sink in Washington. It now only pours monster blood. This is something Jesus predicted would happen, in the Bible, and since Washington is a leading indicator of all “Apocalyptic happenings,” our advice [...]
A fancy Georgetown University student has S.O.S.ed about a new plague in the school’s rich fat cat neighborhood, far beyond the reach of the Metro: “A message from officials at Georgetown now confirms that the campus is just riddled with sickness. We’re all infected with norovirus, a flu thing that is caused by ‘fecal contamination’ [...]
There’s a big VP debate watch party tomorrow night in Washington, D.C., at the James Hoban’s bar in Dupont Circle, and its guest of honor will be a gal named “Elizabeth.” Elizabeth, for those of you not IN-THE-KNOW, is the most famous celebrity in the world now, as she is “the only Wasilla resident living [...]
