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Ha, Layne started writing about this WTOP column at the same time and posted first, but he didn’t even quote the foreboding last paragraph in full! This columnist, Mark Segraves, has done us the very kind favor of scaring us shitless: “As readers of this column will recall, I purchased a handgun the very first [...]
Oh no, some sort of 9/11 is happening in downtown D.C. today: “Authorities have closed portions of two downtown Washington streets as they investigate the discovery of several containers carrying an unknown substance. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the containers were found on a sidewalk midday Thursday at the corner of 15th and [...]
DISTURBANCE IN OUR LOCALE: A Wonkette tipster writes: “Something’s going on in Dupont.. there is a row of ambulances and firetrucks lining New Hampshire from the Jury’s up to Corcoran St… also seems to be Special Ops and other fire dept- related cars…. Any idea what’s up?” Yeah no clue whatsoever, since we haven’t left [...]
Well. Here’s a trailer for some sort of secret potential series about rich, preppy, well-connected young people in Washington. Aside from the YouTube title — “DC PREP Trailer for Secret Television Series Coming Soon!” — the Internet is not telling us much more.
LOOK, HE’S STILL ALIVE OK?: From the intrepid local news team at ABC 7 News: “The pedestrian who was struck by prominent Washington columnist and commentator Robert Novak is in worse shape than first thought, a hospital source tells ABC 7 News. The victim, a 66-year-old man, appeared somewhat incoherent, said the source who had [...]
Here is 800-year-old columnist Bob Novak, the Last Scion of Bilbo Baggins, talking to the local teevee news after hitting some guy with his car and then speeding away, only to be captured. Isn’t it HMM COINCIDENTAL that a Politico reporter happened to be walking by the incident? Here’s the “new truth:” Politico and Bob [...]
The “A” location on this space satellite Google Maps image is 2101 L Street NW, the ONLY Starbucks that will be closed in Washington D.C. out of 600-ish closed ones nationwide. This is problematic for two reasons: (1) there is nary another bean shop anywhere near this rich, young-professionalized and textbook yuppie part of Northwest [...]
GOOD SWEET JESUS GOD: We’ve gotten a few million “HOT NAKED FLAPPERS” e-mails this afternoon, or at least a few dozen, for Paultardpalooza. Among the respondents were an elitist lawyer and a house of six interns! Ha ha, and they all consider Ron Paul to be comical. We will see you at 9:30 a.m. at [...]
We have our plans for Paultardpalooza, finally. We will meet at the gloriously iconic dive bar, the Tune Inn, at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow. We decided on the Tune Inn after calling various Capitol Hill bars and asking, “How early do you start serving alcohol in the morning?” Most places awkwardly tried to hang up, but [...]
SEND YOUR IDEAS FOR PAULTARDPALOOZA PRE-GAMING: We need more suggestions for our Wonkette Paultardpalooza Drinking Binge At Nine A.M. On Saturday Party. Here is one reader’s plan: “I don’t have a place where one can safely become intoxicated enough for a Paultard march that starts at 9am, but I know Glenmont Metro station’s still got [...]
The only worthwhile event in Washington all summer is finally happening this weekend: The R[EVOL]UTION MARCH, in support of failed presidential candidate Dr. Ron Paul, in which he will be joining the most Paultarded of Paultards in a march along Constitution Ave. — that, my friends, is not an accident — to the Capitol, which [...]
Wonkette omen operative “Jacklyn” sends us this photo and writes, “Does anyone know what these paintings are or why they are there? They are painted on streets all around the Mall… 3rd, 4th, and 7th, Streets NW at least.” We have no clue but are willing to conjecture: In ten days, a race of oversized, [...]
DOES THIS MEAN THAT IT HAS TO STOP?: “WASHINGTON – A Metro station manager and a Metro custodian were arrested on prostitution charges after an undercover transit police investigation found they arranged sexual trysts for money from inside the Dupont Circle Metro station.” Oh boy! Apparently the station manager was the contact on a flier [...]
They’ve been talking about it for a while, but the ACTIVIST judges of the Supreme Court today struck down Washington, D.C.’s ban on handgun ownership, voting along Ideological Lines. Hooray! Because we all have guns, and now we don’t have to hide them under our pillows with the safety off anymore, which was not safe [...]
