Did you know that you can help reduce carbon emissions simply by standing with your hand on a ketchup dispenser for two minutes? It’s true! New video footage proves it! Witness the stunning impact a squadron of brave mimes had yesterday on the denizens of the Longworth Cafeteria, who spent upwards of several seconds wondering [...]
Flash mob, you guys! Cryptic playing card mementos, just like the Joker used! What’s it all add up to? A very urgent Citizen Effort to halt climate change, taking place at your local Longworth cafeteria in, hmm, 45 minutes or so.
CAFETERIA BOYCOTT CALLED OFF, DORIS IS BACK: A Restaurant Associates representative sent out an email heralding the news, Roll Call reports that Doris showed up for work this morning, so…hurrah, justice prevails or something. [Roll Call]
Congressional staffers all love Doris, a cashier who has worked in the Longworth Cafeteria since the beginning of time. Rumor has it that she was suspended on Wednesday because her register was $9 short. Some concerned citizens “hope to join in a show of support for Doris by boycotting the cafeterias. Since all the cafeterias [...]
