losers
Forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich thought he could finally cash in big with Barack Obama’s Senate seat, but that didn’t work out too well. Then Rod went on every talk show and cable-news program to jabber hysterical bullshit, and that really didn’t lead to riches, either. Now, at the end of both his political career and [...]
Just a couple of years ago, Sarah Palin was a fresh young political personality. For battered and depressed Republicans who had just lost the House and Senate in an incredible pileup of corruption and perversion, it seemed like an impossible dream to have a happy, heterosexual family girl win a governorship — even if it [...]
MICHAEL STEELE FIRES ALL WHITE PEOPLE FROM RNC! “One week after Michael Steele won a hotly contested race to be the chairman of the Republican National Committee, he has cleaned house and laid off almost the entire RNC staff.” [Chris Cillizza]
They are ignorant religious fanatics who live in the past and love to bugger little boys, so it’s really no big deal that Republicans have finally embraced their only peers on this planet, the Taliban. Remember those dudes?! They were all, “Blah blah allah 9/11,” and then George W. Bush was all, “Gonna blow smoke [...]
Oh good gravy they are having the Fourth Ballot! It takes so long. “It’s time to vote,” the douche keeps saying — watch him say it, here on CSPAN! Something about changed proxy votes, maybe these people could get it together, and OH SHIT MIKE DUNCAN IS WITHDRAWING! So this should go to Steele, who [...]
Like so many young Washington residents in this brutal economy, Wonkette operative “Nicorette St. Monstre” (if that is her real name) has some unemployed bums for roommates. One such jobless loser worked in the Bush Administration until whatever happened last week, and now our Operative finds her dwelling filled with these wretched, hopeless welfare cases [...]
Bill Kristol, the tragically dumb wingnut who wouldn’t be published beyond the Free Republic comments section if not for his famous conservative father who could actually write, was publicly fired from the New York Times this morning — ending a yearlong national comedy in which, each Monday, he would offer some banal nonsense that, if [...]
Norm Coleman is the apparent loser of a thirty-year war in Minnesota against the unfairly diapered comedian Al Franken. Coleman does not believe he has lost, though, so Democrats are doing their best to drive that message home by totally fucking with him in a million petty little ways.
Rod Blagojevich couldn’t make it himself to today’s Senate swearing-in ceremony — why would he, right? He’s not even a Senator!! — but his Taint, his grimy grimy taint, was omnipresent in the chamber, and it reeked. After thoroughgoing racist Harry “Bull Connor” Reid made a black person leave Capitol Hill due to the color [...]
Robert Kennedy Jr. will attest that Ken Blackwell is the literal reincarnation of Beelzebub, who rode a steaming sleigh of entrails from the bowels of Hell to Ohio in order to help George W. Bush steal the election of 2004. This makes him a perfect candidate to run the Republican National Committee as it faces [...]
Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran [...]
