Wonkette

Here is angry, crazy Bill O’Reilly, back when he had hair. OMFG he is so mad about the teleprompter. Those of you who are still upset about the existence of Bill O’Reilly will surely enjoy this video clip, which has already been removed by YouTube but which has been rescued by our friends at Gawker.

Florida, you are so much more than your crime shows featuring red-headed heros such as David Caruso and that guy from Six Feet Under. You are a nation of alligators, Cubans, ancient Giuliani supporters, and gun-toting lunatics — and now you are encouraged to show up at your place of employment armed to the gills. Your legislature makes it so! MORE »

According to deep background sources (our commenter “Serolf Divad”), the printing-press laborer who wrote that terrific op-ed about Obama being a Muslim Fundamentalist who will piss on the graves of Ground Zero might really be NYT star Bill Kristol. Think about it.

McCain is giving a speech! Let’s talk about it. He is going to give us a thousand-year war in Iraq. He is a lunatic. “We had just one strategy, to you what I believe.” The funny thing is he believes absolutely nothing. Nothing! A mailbox believes more things. MORE »

A brave group of wingnuts is demanding that George W. Bush nuke all the brown folk and become Dictator of the World. Why? We don’t know, something about how democracy is sort of a pain when all you want to do is nuke the fucking Moslems so Emperor Jesus can return as written in the popular “Left Behind” comic books. Anyway, some local dingbat right-wing “think tank” posted some insane bullshit about how Bush is so hated by everybody that he must become dictator by nuking Iraq as the obvious first part of the bold plan to “empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans.” MORE »

The Senate Judiciary Committee has sent subpoenas to the Bush Administration and the Cheney Branch, a move experts believe will lead Dick Cheney to dissolve the Senate for “inefficiency.” MORE »

There’s a lot of talk these days about stopping dangerous lunatics before they kill, so we just wanted to bring America’s attention to a batshit old man who needs 24-hour supervision in an Insane Asylum, now:

Another man — wondering if an attack on Iran is in the works — wanted to know when America is going to “send an air mail message to Tehran.” McCain began his answer by changing the words to a popular Beach Boys song.

“Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran,” he sang to the tune of Barbara Ann.

McCain visits Murrells Inlet [Georgetown Times]

Tune in to CNN’s Situation Room this afternoon and watch mentally ill street people jabber to the camera … oh wait, we meant to say, “Presidential candidate and Honorable Congressman Tom Tancredo is utterly insane.” Here are some quotes for you: MORE »

Those crazy numbskulls at the Department of Homeland Security are finally being moved to a mental hospital — all of them, forever! Sadly, the move will not begin until 2011, when America is nothing but a massive smoldering ruin. In a bold admission of the absolute incompetence that defines DHS, officials suspect it will take at least three years to complete the move. MORE »

* This is how the world will end, not with a bang, but a clank, and the thump of a pneumatic hammer on an elevator. We’re relieved that no one was hurt, but it sure was exciting covering all the action. Er, whatever it is that passes for action. In the end, the biggest danger of the day was the risk of some soiled gabardine, but even that was averted. MORE »