Wonkette

Former Virginia Sen. George “Macaca” Allen filled out an NCAA Tournament bracket, and it is pretty, and he will share it with the world! Allen, however, is incapable of performing even the simplest tasks without being comical. He predicts #5 seed Notre Dame will beat #12 George Mason, but that is way too politically risky for his already destroyed political career in Virginia. So he scribbles in the margin, “tho for George Mason,” so you know where his heart is. And for #7 Gonzaga versus #10 Davidson, he predicts Davidson, against all mathematical odds! To highlight this brilliant prophecy, he writes “upset pick” in the margin. It seems he’s using all this free time to finally pass the first grade. [Full-size here]

*MACACA!:* The big John McCain speech at CPAC — where conservatives might boo him — is being introduced by none other than America’s Racist, former Sen. George “Macaca” Allen.

He was our greatest governor (of Virginia) and our greatest American senator. He loved the Confederate Flag, holding footballs, and terrorizing the Negroes. Also, he was photographed astride a horse, so he was obviously the new Ronald Reagan and was supposed to have an easy ride to the White House this year. But this legacy of greatness was destroyed by idiot liberals who had to make a big deal of his casual racism.

And now George Allen is refusing to run for governor again next year. Thanks a lot, jerk. What are we supposed to write about in ‘09 now?

Allen Won’t Run For Va. Governor [Washington Post]

Macaca and The Beard had a chat on CNN yesterday about Fred Thompson and the election. (Jesus, that was five of Wonkette’s least favorite people/things in the same sentence)! Anyway, The Beard also asked Macaca what he thinks about the Internet, which virally obliterated his political career last fall (ah, sweet memories). Macaca loves it though! And he loves the Guttenberg press! No love, however, for 18th-century pamphleteering, which was easily the peak of socially aware douchebag dissemination.

The Fred Thompson team announced its two Virginia campaign chairs today. One of them you’ve heard of, and the other is also a douchebag. Probably. Some state politician. MORE »

George “Macaca” Allen, the former Virginia governor and senator famous for hating brown people, is helping out the Fred Thompson campaign, proving that when it comes to lazy, stupid ex-senators, things work better in pairs. MORE »

* Rahm Emmanuel wants Democrats to keep hangin’ tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin’ tough. [Election Central]
* John Warner is definitely retiring - all hail the return of Macaca! [MyDD]
* Pat Leahy calls “Nixon” on missing RNC emails. [C&L]
* Everywhere Bush goes, documents just disappear. [Salon]
* Hillary’s rap money tainted by Imus. [The Hillary Project]
* Tony Blair is mad racist, son. [Guardian]
* How biz-czar. [HuffPo]

This is some sort of breakthrough: MORE »

Aren’t you glad George Allen lost his senate seat for calling Jim Webb’s Indian guy a Tunisian monkey in Italian or something? Yes, Macaca George was a racist dingbat in love with a prop football and slavery, but he wasn’t a heavily armed lunatic.

The emerging and evolving story of Webb’s aide being arrested and jailed for trying to sneak a loaded handgun and tons of ammo into the Russell Senate Office building is starting to sound like a hilarious outtake from “Pulp Fiction.” Yesterday we learned that Webb and his ninja gunmen had sacks of weapons when they showed up at National airport, so Webb was forced to leave his guns with the staffers for his flight to Beirut or wherever, and then there were guns everywhere and nobody was keeping track and next thing you know this former Marine has put one of Webb’s loaded semi-automatic pistols (or maybe even a Micro Uzi) in a briefcase — along with two fully loaded extra magazines — through the X-Ray machine and the Capitol cops lock him up.

Read Webb’s delusional Conrad Burns-esque excuses, after the jump.

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