mark sanford
Michelle Antoinette’s fashion atrocities continue to destroy lives overseas, but worry not, the fashion police are hot on her Allah-chic heels. [Michelle Obama's Mirror] Give the gift of jar-fetus to all the loved ones this Christmas with a Planned Parenthood buy-one get-one-free abortion coupon. [Now Public] Obviously you can’t water the Tree of Liberty with [...]
March of 2009 was so very long ago that when you click this link you will be surprised that everyone in the story isn’t wearing chain mail and calling each other “thee” and “thou,” but back then South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a guy with a future in politics, and if there’s one thing [...]
Yesterday The State, which is the New York Times of Columbia, S.C., asked one of the pertinent and perpetually relevant political questions of our time: Yo where Mark Sanford at? The question– which sparked a bloggin’ frenzy — for it was a sparking thing — arose after America’s Governor of Sexting failed to tell the [...]
Despite detailed accusations that she’s having anti-Republican sexytime with half the Republican staffers and bloggers in South Carolina, Nikki Haley still has a 20-point lead in the polls and should sorta win the GOP primary tomorrow to eventually become America’s Hilarious New Mark Sanford. This is good for Wonkette! And it’s also a weird story, [...]
The weird “blogger has sex with hot governor-candidate lady” just keeps getting sexier (except for the blogger-having-sex part). South Carolina GOP person-turned-blog-typer Will Folks has produced various Holy Texts about the sexytime he supposedly had with GOP candidate Nikki Haley. They all used to work together with Mark Sanford, because the South Carolina Republican Party [...]
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford will not face charges for using state airplanes to romance his Argentinean soul mate, because state attorney general Henry McMaster, a Republican, doesn’t want to assign criminal intent to Sanford’s tragicomic penis. So we’re all just gonna “put this controversy behind us and move on,” heal, etc.
Whoa hey this is totally expected and yet still sort of sad! Jenny Sanford has filed for divorce from her dumb husband, the famous Appalachian Trail solo “hiker” and South Carolina governor (still!) Mark Sanford. How long before Jenny Sanford runs for the governorship of a smarter, classier state?
MARK SANFORD WILL NOT GET IMPEACHED FOR SEXING: “A House panel has voted against a resolution impeaching Gov. Mark Sanford for abandoning his duties and abuse of power, all but closing the door on lawmakers removing Sanford from office.” Good. Sanford is terrible but shouldn’t be impeached or forced to resign for having a very [...]
Twilight heart-throb and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford loved his Argentine Firecracker soul-mate so much that he abandoned his wife, kids and that annoying job (Republican leader of a slave state) just to pile up frequent-flier miles and bang his mistress with romance. But now the mean twerps at the state’s “ethics panel” have examined [...]
Mark Sanford reviewed Ayn Rand (like as a human?) for Newsweek. This is a thing that happened! Anyway, Mark Sanford really did not think this whole thing out, publishing his close reading masterwork in Newsweek, as this essay has all the makings of a winner of The Ayn Rand Institute’s annual 8th to 10th grade [...]
MARK SANFORD IS MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN SOUTH AMERICA: Here’s a fun story about how embarrassing South Carolina is, on a global scale: “He was in Peru, on a train from Cusco to Machu Picchu, when he and his wife began chatting with another couple. Where, Harpootlian asked, are you from? Rio, came the response, [...]
Mark Sanford was involved in a SENSATIONAL high-speed chase the other day in South Carolina, where he has a lucrative freelance governorship gig. The driver of Sanford’s car was going 85 mph when he was pulled over by a state trooper, who wanted to know what the deal was with the 85 mph. For such [...]
While riding bikes with one of his sons, delicate human being Mark Sanford fell and sprained both wrists. Immediately, Sanford publicly blamed the episode on another person, specifically his own child. “[My son] had not yet learned the rules of the road, so to speak, and he turned left and I was stupidly locked in [...]
RUE THE DAY WHEN IT WILL BE TRANSLATED INTO SPANISH. Jenny Sanford did not already have a book deal, somehow, but it is fine, because now she does! Her “inspirational memoir” will be released in May 2010. It is tentatively titled The Book of Job. [CNN]
