mercede johnston
What are the bitter, unemployed naked young people in Wasilla doing these days between meth come downs? Still aborting America’s collective remaining brain cells one by one with the gale-force toxic winds of their regularly scheduled rants rehashing the gross details of Bristol Palin’s achievements in unprotected sex? Yes, is your answer. Secondary Palin family [...]
Are we still talking about the sex lives of former teenagers in Alaska during the Sexy Summer of ’08? Well then, Levi Johnston’s sister, Mercede Johnston, has a hot new blog review of Bristol’s teen vampire fiction, Not Afraid of Publicity. According to Levi’s sister, who knows all about what Bristol did that summer because [...]
According to the world’s most trusted news source, some celebrity website we’ve never heard of, Levi Johnston’s sister Mercede is going to pose nude for Playboy. Why? And why now? Well, America collectively said, “Who? What? Sure,” when they were asked if they wanted to see Levi Johnston’s gonads in Playgirl, and it turns out [...]
Yeah, this Palin embargo thing is not going to work out. Mercede Johnston is having some sort of Facebook fight with Bristol Palin. But more importantly, Mercede reveals Bristol’s secret Facebook account, which is under the brilliant porn name “Bristol Sheeran.” What can we see there? That kid of hers on the shoulders of some [...]
Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically [...]
Internet municipal-election registration-document compendium TMZ has obtained Levi Johnston’s Alaska Public Offices Commission letter of intent to run for office in Wasilla. Apparently Levi is running for “City of Wasilla 2011.” Is it possible to be elected a city rather than just elected to an office of that city? IT’S UP TO THE VOTERS.
If you are not following MercedeJohnston.com, your number one source of Johnston-related news, then you, my friend, are not following life. How, for instance, can you be keep up with the latest details of the custody arrangements Levi and Bristol have made over Track Tank Tripp? How will you know about the latest Bristol-Mercede Facebook [...]
For the past few weeks our nation has had hope. Bristol and Levi got back together! That is a leading indicator of decreasing unemployment, somehow, probably! But now those two kids no longer are getting married. It has been reported, with journalism, that Levi’s pregnant ex-girlfriend is not the issue; rather, it’s another ex-girlfriend, an [...]
Levi Johnston and his new wife and old kid are now a Vaudeville family that travels the country singing and dancing and acting out vignettes about America and abortions and four-wheelers. Levi has taken the first step in joining Bristol as a certified actor by appearing in an R&B video. “And what’s the video about? [...]
You know, we poke fun, but for a brief moment this morning while we were writing up this breaking news item, we allowed ourselves to feel ever so slightly warmly towards Alaska’s beautiful star-crossed lovers. Lots of people screw up when they are young! It can’t possibly be easy trying to negotiate teenage parenthood in [...]
Hours ago, it was revealed that Levi Johnston, who is BACK ON with Trig or Tapper or whichever Palin he made a baby with, now says that some things he said in the past about the Palins are not true. His sister Mercede saw this and took to her blog with the news that LEVI [...]
The reputable media have failed to confirm that Levi and Bristol are back to baby-making, which is why we need to turn to the “journalists of the future,” i.e., unemployed bloggers with an axe to grind — unemployed bloggers like LEVI JOHNSTON’S SISTER MERCEDE, HMM? Mercede “Not A Typo” Johnston took to her internet publishing [...]
Weren’t we just talking about Larry King? Yes we were! Well, the “king of all media” has some very special guests tonight, straight from the meth/moose/Taco Bell capital of the world, Wasilla. The singular Levi and Mercede Johnston will sit down this evening with Hollywood’s favorite death muppet, and dope-dealin’ mom Sherry Johnston is coming [...]
Not to be all Andrew Sullivan but WHAT THE HELL is Levi Johnston doing here, in May of last year, tenderly cradling supposed Sarah Palin child “Trig Palin” in this photograph taken in Sarah’s kitchen, days after Trig’s birth? And WHY was this photo shown on the Tyra Banks Program to illustrate teen father Levi [...]
