metro
How did you get to work today? Hopefully you risked your life and took the Metro. Or did you drive? Because if you did, you’re in big, big trouble. It’s Car Free Day DC, which means that walking, biking, and mass transit are the only acceptable means to get from point A to point B [...]
Rep. Kevin Brady of fuckin’ Texas wants — in the words of the Wall Street Journal here, okay? — “an explanation of why the government-run subway system didn’t, in his view, adequately prepare for this past weekend’s rally to protest government spending and government services. Seriously.” +1.
Summer. It’s over, and not even Bryan Adams can make it sound sexy (you might have bought that six-string at the five-and-dime, but MJ is fucking dead). Anyway, an intern needs your help. Last night he smoked a marijuana cigarette. Will John Ensign ask him to pee in a Dixie cup? True or False? [Spotted: [...]
RED LINE KILLS AGAIN: “Metro reports a person was struck and killed by a Red Line train at Forest Glen this afternoon. The transit authority said it appeared the person was on the tracks deliberately.” Yeah they always say that. [Washington Post]
Intern Jack: How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are both supposed to be organizing paperclips? Intern Algernon: What are American muffins? Do you think they have them in America? Intern Jack: Fuck if I know. [Spotted: DC Summer Interns]
METRO CRASH KILLS 2, 6, 9, INJURES 55 76: Red line trains smash up and stack up near the Ft. Totten Metro station, and emergency teams have reportedly just finished the “extraction.” Traffic jams, ambulances trying to get in and out, just avoid the whole area. Ugh. [WTOP/DCist]
It must be Sweeps Week in another version of reality, as Leon Wieseltier, New Republic‘s ranking number two funny old man with funny old racist ideas, guest stars on All About Steve, a teevee show, to play the head of the FLO, the Freudian Liberation Organization. [DCist]
It doesn’t matter whether the National Zoo’s panda’s uterus is half full or half empty—the important thing is how you look at it. [DCist]
Friday, April 3: Christian Finnegan of Chapelle’s Show and Best Week Ever fame comes to DC Improv till Sunday. Listen to his comedy bit about the DC metro system, which is he says is “the fucking Tron compared to NYC subways, where there’s always someone “twisting one off in the corner.” Gross. [DC Improv]
The Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority now has its own fancy Facebook page. Change has come!
H St. NE is such a bitch to get to, but thankfully, someone was smart enough to realize that the only reason no one ever goes down to H St. is because it’s inaccessible and that the X2 bus sucks. Also, H St. can be a bit of a sketchy place. There are prostitutes, homeless [...]
METRO COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY 9:25 A.M.: Yeah so all that planning the city did to make sure public transportation operates smoothly on Inauguration Day? Utter failure. One 68-year-old gal falls on the train tracks and next thing you know, officials have to shut down Metro Center and Gallery Place/Chinatown, the two most important Metro stops, [...]
ODDLY HILARIOUS HYPERBOLIC QUOTES FROM CITY OFFICIALS WHO ARE FREAKING OUT OVER INAUGURATION LOGISTICS, TUESDAY EDITION: “It is going to be the most challenging day in the history of Metro.” [WTOP]
