mexico
It was bad enough when the Messicans came across the border to steal our economy and manufacturing (migrant farming) jobs. But now they have turned into Horrifying PIRATES who ride around on JET SKIS killing Americans for no reason at all. This is according to Fox News, who had some dead guy’s wife on Fox [...]
After three grim minutes of bullet-riddled bodies hanging beneath bridges and other common scenes from Mexico’s drug war, something truly terrible occurs in this video report: Beer-guzzling backwards-cap-wearing U.S. college kids tumble out of a tour bus in a town square and drunkenly proclaim their love for the Mexican Drug War. But these aren’t normal [...]
Forget the brown menace slithering out of Mexico under border fences and over the dead bodies of hardworking American fat people. There’s a new Satan in town, and this wolf eschews the clothing of sheep in favor of the sexxxay apparel preferred by 17th-century Swiss Anabaptists. Yes, the descendants of Jakob Ammann are coming to [...]
Real Americans know that Mexicans are not sneaking over the border and stealing our jobs because they want to “help feed their families” or “find a better life.” No, the true purpose of this invasion is to annex all of USA America to Latin America, restoring things to the way they were in the times [...]
Um, what happened last night? It is almost impossible to know for sure, but here is what we think we know: Delaware jerk-off Christine O’Donnell defeated Rep. Mike Castle, racist Buffalo wing(nut) Carl Paladino won the Republican gubernatorial primary in New York, and Vincent Gray beat Adrian Fenty in the DC mayoral primary (“nobody” should [...]
Did you know that Mexicans won their “independence” 200 years ago, and their “democracy” 100 years ago? And they even have a “president,” Felipe Calderon, who lost the 2006 election by 1.5 million votes but still “won” it very narrowly. ¡Viva México Mágico! Anyway, Messicans are not very happy about their upcoming bicentennial celebrations — [...]
Everything is going hunky-dory down here, South of the Border, as we stock up on ISLAMO-TEQUILA for the 200th anniversary of Mexico’s “independence” from foreign rule. But Hillary Clinton is bored being Secretary of State when every PUMA knows SHE SHOULD BE PRESIDENT! And while Obama is stuck in midterm madness, Clinton noticed there’s a [...]
Jan Brewer does not understand this whole debate thing and the idea that you have to make “opening statements” and have “accomplishments” to talk about in them, and thus she has decided she won’t do one ever again, SO THERE. “She said the only reason she debated him on Wednesday is she had to to [...]
Hooray! Everybody have a taco parade! Justice Department civil rights lawyers filed suit against Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona on Thursday after talks collapsed on a deal to provide federal investigators with requested documents. The suit, filed in federal court in Phoenix, Arizona, claims the Maricopa County sheriff has failed to cooperate with the investigation [...]
President Barry Obamez claims that he’s trying to secure our border, but our tea-bagging heroes know otherwise. Sure, he’s all “stricter workplace enforcement” this and “fine, I’ll send more National Guard troops down” that, and blah blah blah, but has come up with any really innovative border-sealing ideas? Like, say, sending someone down to the [...]
Oh look, actual news: Judge Susan Bolton of Federal District Court in Phoenix has blocked the most controversial parts of Arizona’s popular new immigration law right before it is to take effect, because she hates white people. Bolton has issued “a preliminary injunction against sections that called for police officers to check a person’s immigration [...]
Here is Rep. Sue Myrick (R-NC), giving balance to what must have been a not crazy enough newscast on Fox. Hezbollah, the Lebanon militants, are learning Spanish in Venezuela and then driving up the imaginary freeway into Costa Rica and up to the Rio Grande, where they’re passing off as simple Mexican illegal immigrants.
Some depressing county fair in Idaho decided its theme this year would be “Fiesta at the Fair,” as that seems exotic and fun (depressing). So of course the county GOP decided that this was an evil Messican idea. “Bonner County fair board Chairman Tim Cary said the fair was just looking for a theme that’s [...]
Traditionally, the governors of all the states on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border (did you know that Mexico has “states,” with “governors”?) get together once a year to “celebrate border bonhomie … issue proclamations and pledges to work together, air grievances and concerns behind closed doors.” In other words, they drink unseemly amounts of [...]
