military
Teevee actress person Kim Delaney from the show “Army Wives” (we can’t verify this information, we just read the caption) was somehow the most relevant pick for a crowd-warmer speech at a Philadelphia military gala honoring Forever War Emperor Robert Gates. But lucky for everyone at what must have been an otherwise thoroughly boring event, [...]
Every single day of the last miserable decade, the U.S. Military has pissed away more than $16 million in fraudulent contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq. That’s $60 billion thrown away on wasteful handouts to Pentagon contractors during the wonderful War On Terror — $60 billion thrown away without even killing random goat farmers who committed [...]
Senior U.S. and Iraqi military officials have been in negotiations about keeping some 10,000 American troops in Iraq beyond the scheduled withdrawal of all U.S. forces at year’s end, according to officials familiar with the talks. But the discussions face political obstacles in both countries, and have faltered in recent weeks because of Iraqi worries [...]
Last night, John Boehner and Harry Reid met for the most exciting event in human history: budget negotiations to avert a government shutdown. And Boehner returned to his caucus to deliver the sob heard ’round the country. “He cried, but only briefly,” said “one person at the meeting” to ABC News. Yes, it looks like [...]
Wow, we are not even going to click through these, because we kind of remember the last several batches of “extremely graphic” pictures of U.S. troops and U.S. military contractors murdering and torturing Muslims in the various countries where America continues to murder and torture people, for Freedom. In fact, we’re going to cover our [...]
Devious Lady GaGa CD-RW terrorist Bradley Manning was charged yesterday with “aiding the enemy,” which is punishable by death. (Hillary Clinton will sit on him until he dies.) In the meantime, the Army has decided that Bradley Manning needs to take off his clothes and then stand around naked in his prison cell for hours, [...]
“Comrade, we do not care for this individual. He is threatening the breathtaking glory of our motherland. How shall we defeat him?” “Have we finished our work on the top-secret spinning photo technology?” “Yes, the Libyans supplied the resources.” “Then use it.” “But sir, the horror of—” “USE IT.” It would appear from North Korea’s [...]
For absurdity, how about those four Navy F-18s flying over the stadium – with its retractable roof closed? Everybody inside could only see the planes on the stadium’s video screens. It was strictly a two-second beauty shot. Know what it cost taxpayers? I’ll tell you: $450,000. (The Navy justifies the expense by saying it’s good [...]
The military must be pretty confused, as they probably thought they were the ones who were supposed to implement military policies, but nope! Wrong answer! It’s John McCain who will go door to door, barrack to barrack, making sure the troops know that they’re allowed to be gay now, so they don’t freak out or [...]
According to news reports, Navy Captain Owen Honors, that guy who made all those dumb gay-joke videos with the mock masturbation and butt probes and some kind of stuffed toy parrot sidekick and Glenn Close (?), is apparently still in charge of the USS Enterprise. But he will not be for long, according to a [...]
Here’s something we appreciate the Associated Press covering, in the interest of humanity: “Exley is part of a movement of Christians loosely organized by radio broadcasts and websites, independent of churches and convinced by their reading of the Bible that the end of the world will begin May 21, 2011.” Well, there you have it! [...]
As Wonkbot (the dean of the military masturbation-joke press corps) first reported, the Navy has opened an investigation into a series of instructional videos made by the former Executive Officer of the USS Enterprise, Captain Owen Honors, after The Virginian-Pilot got its hands on this guy’s clip show of favorite moments. And wow, this guy [...]
