• February 14, 2012

military-industrial complex

America’s new war is One Week Old, hooray! Did you get it a present? (Yes: You are actually paying for this war, too.) Barack Obama conveniently went into hiding in South America — ha, we thought Bush would disappear there first! — and because South America is a very primitive continent with no Internet or [...]

According to Rolling Stone, a music periodical primarily concerned with the U.S. military, a lieutenant general serving in Afghanistan, William Caldwell, ordered a “psychological operations” team to target U.S. senators and other “VIPs” visiting Afghanistan who met with him to “leverage the delegation for more funds” and “give us more people.” Apparently some senators are [...]

We can all agree that we should cut down the deficit, right? And most rational people believe that the way to do this is to go through the budget line by line and remove wasteful liberal spending like taking kids to amusement parks that consume literally fractions of pennies out of each precious tax dollar! [...]

So Alabama shitbird Sen. Richard “Dick” “Swett” Shelby has placed a blanket hold on 70-ish Obama nominees, which someone in Harry Reid’s office bothered to tell us all about yesterday. He wants Northrop Grumman to get a contract for a tanker that would bring 1,500 jobs to Alabama, and he wants some dildo thing called [...]

Most of the publicity pitches your Wonkette receives during the workday are for relatively innocuous, easygoing things. “Hey Wonkette me & my buddy Dave just made a hilarious video in our dorm room that your readers would love,” the average one reads. “We dress up in saran wrap & overalls and smash a model town [...]