minnesota
Michele Bachmann has a new ad airing in Minnesota. It’s about the complexities of federalism and our modern political system. Just kidding! It’s 30 more seconds of dumbed down crap about taxes. Jim the Election Guy wants voters to know Bachmann’s opponent wants to tax their precious fried food and beer at the Minnesota State [...]
Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty has decided to pass up $850,000 in federal sex education funds, because he would rather waste his state’s own money to teach children about “abstinence.” Have fun, kids: Reproductive rights groups chastised Gov. Tim Pawlenty Monday for refusing federal money for comprehensive sex education in exchange for abstinence-education funds that will [...]
OH NO WATCH OUT MICHELE BACHMANN THERE’S A BUS BEHIND YOU! Oh, LOLZ, just kidding — that beautiful luxury coach in the back is the Minnesota Congresslady’s own special tour bus to ride around her district in, shaking her moneymaker to replenish the ol’ campaign coffers. She liked the Sarah Palin and Tea Party buses, [...]
Minneapolis’ city attorney’s office has agreed to pay a $165,000 settlement to seven people who dressed up as zombies to protest consumerism in 2006. Police had arrested the protesters for what they thought appeared to be a “weapon of mass destruction,” but hilariously was actually an iPod and some equipment to amplify this terrorist mp3 [...]
Minneapolis police are investigating CRUDE VIOLENCE, after Al Franken’s wife reported that the Frankens’ condo had been shot. The condo seems to be in stable condition, although a window was cracked. Interestingly, Al Franken just came out very strongly against the opponents of the proposed New York Muslim community center. Are Minnesotans trying to KILL [...]
OMG you guys, do you know who’s trying to politically destroy our beautiful Minnesota Congressmodel Michele Bachmann this week, besides everyone who isn’t wearing an American flag somewhere on their person? It’s Walter Mondale, former vice-president to Jimmy Carter and 1984′s Democratic wannabe president. Is Mondale a secret sexist?
Were you aware that Rep. Michele Bachmann won her little primary in Minnesota last night? In celebration, she has made one of her many vlogs for the Wonkette, which she believes is a LiveJournal written by Michelle Malkin. In it, she describes the secret to her continual electoral success. Enjoy her special form of genius-osity!
Can you feel the pulsing excitement? It is a primary night, one of only sixty or so Primary Tuesdays this year, so far. Anderson Cooper has a special report on the Jet Blue flight attendant who just HAD IT with his job/people/etc., and Fox News has Bill O’Reilly talking about, uh, Rudy Giuliani? With some [...]
Coming to you live from Thugtown USA—i.e. “Obama’s backyard,” or Chicagotown, where there are no races or post-racial relations at the polls to watch today. So let’s watch everybody else’s races! At this moment we are still awaiting the results of the Georgia gubernatorial primary runoff starring Republicans Nathan “the Real Deal” Deal and Karen [...]
Things are fucking HOT AS HELL in tonight’s primaries, if you can imagine what a sexy Georgia looks like. Though we called the race for Nathan Deal because his supporters set up a kiddie pool of grits, the GOP gubernatorial primary results in the Annoying-Peach-Pit State remain close. In Connecticut, Linda McMahon is rasslin’ her [...]
There are important elections. And then there are MICHELE BACHMANN elections. Tonight we journey to Minnesota, Connecticut, Colorado, and Georgia: “Gee, I cut onto a mooing nostril accordance” is your prescient anagram of these states. What does it mean? We will soon find out. Polls have just closed in Connecticut, an hour after Georgia. Minnesota [...]
Liveblogging coverage of tonight’s exciting/terrible primaries will begin very soon now! But just like on the Cable TeeVee News, your Wonkette Political Team must sit around with their laptops engaged in pre-game punditry. What, for example, are we supposed to do if Our Blessed Lady of Wingnuttery actually loses her suburban wingnut congressional seat? WHAT [...]
Important primaries are happening right now in Georgia, Connecticut, Minnesota and Colorado, which are states that have little in common except that their voting robots all decided today was the day to provide sham “primary elections” to their states’ non-lizard-people. Will human vanilla bean Sen. Michael Bennet be able to hold off his challenger Andrew [...]
Republican Congressional candidate Joel Demos is a father, a fixer-upper owner, a working man — you know, just a Regular Guy from MicheleBachmannsota who does Regular Guy Things, like…pull huge-ass monster trucks toward pretend finish lines to meet potential supporters and make friends. Errr, maybe he should try using a gas product to move that [...]
