monsters
Sure, “giant shears.” That should do it. [AP/Fox News as re-imagined by Wonkette Operative "Slushy D."]
Whoa we were just stopping by MSNBC for a moment to watch the Israeli Ambassador lie about killing people again, and then what’s her name, Alan Greenspan’s wife, just cold started showing pictures of Al and Tipper Gore dressed up as sex monsters for orgies. What is going on here? Oh right, it was the [...]
America’s most mysterious animal-disease mad-scientist Military Laboratory, the secret fear factory known as Plum Island, is shutting down and moving to Kansas. Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & [...]
Wonkette operative “Laura S.” was just cold drivin’ through Iowa when she spotted these awful giant-human heads growing out of the fertile, head-growin’ Iowa manure-soil. What is this about? Well, that’s Mitt Romney on the left. He emerges from the Iowa dirt every four years, like Mormon Jeebus, to once again haunt the people of [...]
Just as Stephen Hawking’s dire warning about the Space Aliens made the news three weeks ago, engineers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory discovered a puzzling development in the datastream sent by Voyager 2, the space probe launched in 1977 that is currently 8.5 billion miles from Earth and 5 billion miles beyond the orbit of [...]
Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger flew on his supervillain pope-plane to Portugal and said a few words about the decades-long child-rape scandal destroying the Vatican Mafia’s global bullshit business. This is apparently a big deal, that Ratzinger sort of half-ass acknowledged that priests and bishops raping children and the highest officials in the Catholic Church engineering [...]
This is an important UPDATE from the public relations firm that wanted us to know a giant monster puppet of an old man was going to be set loose upon Washington, to eat the ladies. Well, it happened. Here is the video. Just watch the first eight or nine seconds and then throw your computer [...]
How beloved Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger handled two Austrian bishops and their various sex crimes back in the 1980s is apparently a “Rorschach test,” in that those slavish followers of the Evil Pontiff say (in German) that he did “pretty great” by encouraging the promotion of one relentless child-fucker over another bishop who is only [...]
Wonkette operative “Kris” wants you to have nightmares forever and ever, until you jump out of your (first floor) window and, uh, sprain your ankle. So she flipped over our gross picture of Sarah Palin’s tattooed-on lipstick, and, well …. Enjoy it!
Let’s see let’s see let’s see THINK GODDAMMIT what’s a good term to use when you’re defending an actual NAZI in a Pope Hat over his role in defending and protecting Catholic priests all over the world who rape little boys? How about “anti-Semitism.” Ha ha, Jesus may have died on Good Friday but irony [...]
WHY WE STILL MISS PAREENE: “I, for one, think Amanpour-to-This Week might be a dumb idea and a shame because we’re taking one of our very few television celebrities who does anything to educate television-watching Americans about foreign affairs and sentencing her to a career of eliciting canned responses from the same idiot elected officials. [...]
Hmm. Well hopefully Sarah Palin took enough notes during the parts of the health care summit that she did watch, so that her conversation about it with Sean Hannity tonight can be as fact-based and productive as expectations would have us believe. [Twitter]
Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the “something vulgar” rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever.
