monsters
One of the great pleasures of last year’s campaign season was seeing the consulting firm of Mark Penn, history’s greatest monster, end up millions of dollars in the hole for all the great work they did on behalf of losing candidate Hillary Clinton. How was Penn going to afford his lavish subterranean cave and the [...]
Good morning! Or IS IT? That all depends on how well are you protecting your family from animal-human hybrids. “Eh, a medium—but responsible!—amount,” you tell yourself. Uh huh, sure. Have you introduced an actual piece of legislation that will BANISH these non-existent monsters from what could be but definitely won’t be reality? Sam Brownback and [...]
The New York Times has a SCOOP, about Larry Summers! He is still a dick to everybody, and the rest of the White House economics team pretty much hates him — except for the President, who endures his terrible behavior because he is so BRILLIANT.
Good christ but this guy is a terrifying shit-monster — a leering death clown who is supposed to go away, but cannot, because he is the world’s biggest asshole. Thanks, Dick Cheney, for reminding us how to hate again. Here are the main lies from his foul hymn to Satan today. [Talking Points Memo]
Monstrous wingnut Joseph Ratzinger somehow became pope a few years ago — this is because of ancient Catholic-Sith rules dictating that each “good pope” must be followed by a “loathsome beast.” But Ratzi is unique even among the Sith Popes, for he is the first Bishop of Rome to be an actual Nazi, for Hitler, [...]
VAMPIRES ARE A LIBERAL TERRORIST SEX PLOT: Bram Stoker never imagined that his story of a seductive count who necks with young virgins at night might be interpreted as something sexual, but now that dirty-minded liberals have gotten their paws on the vampire story, the terrorists have won. “I’m all for multiculturalism, but this is [...]
What the hell blew up in the skies over the Maryland-to-North Carolina Atlantic coast last night? Thousands of people supposedly saw terrifying Light Monsters floating down from the Heavens, and then heard horrific booms and thunder and such, and … well it almost sounds like a summer thunderstorm, SCARY, but it is not summer, or [...]
The St. Paul Saints made a funny Larry Craig souvenir to hand out at their games last year, and what better to follow it up with this year than a bobblehead showing Al Franken and Norm Coleman joined at the cranium and wearing a Sesame Street costume? (This is the image that Hugh Hewitt masturbates [...]
ANCIENT SEX LIZARD MAKES BABIES: A gruesome, century-old cancer-ridden basilisk in New Zealand somehow impregnated another monster, and 11 baby Cockatrice hatched on Monday. Change is here! [National Geographic]
WONKETTE COMPLETELY ENDORSES THIS 50 WORST MONSTERS LIST: The Buffalo Beast is known for these crushing obituaries of terrible living Americans, and the 2009 edition is built to please/enrage. The 50th, least offensive spot is reserved for your own pretend boyfriend, Barack Obama. Why? To give the list integrity. Anyway, go read this thing, and [...]
REMEMBER DRUNKY McRAPEY? Jim Gibbons is this incredibly dull/stupid cretin-crook Republican congressman who somehow became governor of Nevada, in the middle of some awful cheap sex-assault scandal. Now his wife has finally left him, the Feds are investigating all his crookedness, people are noticing that he hasn’t actually shown up to work this year, and [...]
Shameful. Poor Joe Lieberman can’t even take a few days to rest at home in his bath of acidic blood-water without the liberal blog photographers staking him out. [NBC5]
Your editor’s sort-of relative teaches at Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood! We knew she taught in the Valley but did not know where, exactly — and she is right there, at the heart of the failure of the John McCain Campaign and its weird attempt to put some kind of picture related to [...]
It is not even a slow news day, but all the news is about tire pressure so kill us now. So we went to Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig’s webpage to see if anything gay was going on and lo and behold, everything gay was going on, in this one screen cap. What a frightening [...]
