mormons
Glenn Beck came to Salt Lake City to talk about the Jesus and the America and the Socialism for a stadium spectacular and confided in the crowd of idiots who paid money to see their favorite radio and teevee person that he is maybe going to be blind. “Only Glenn Beck could make a crowd [...]
Ha, remember way back in 2008 when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a tax-exempt religious organization based in Utah, poured a bunch of money and volunteer labor into the campaign that got gay marriage banned in California? And remember how a lot of people who were sort of startled when the [...]
The derelict city of Detroit is finally “getting serious” about razing thousands of boarded-up abandoned houses, and the worst ghetto crackhouse of all will soon be bulldozed: the childhood mansion of Mitt “Mittens” Romney. The Romneys and their servants once lived a life of Mormon Aristocracy in the five-bedroom two-story 5,500-square-foot estate in the once-grand [...]
Comical gazillionaire Mitt Romney continues to believe he has a shot in “h-e-double-l” of becoming the Republican nominee for president, despite his anti-Christian “faith” and his gay-liberal health-care-reform Taxachusetts history. So he’s off to Iowa, the King of States, exactly three years before the 2012 Iowa caucus. Romney is on a book tour! He has [...]
Yesterday, your Jim Newell announced DC’s gay-marriage-is-okay news with this caveat: “HOWEVER, while Father Congress is not expected to go all ‘Home Rule’ and block this sucker, we’re about 99.9% sure that one congressman or another representing some salty swamp in the middle of nowhere will make a half-assed attempt to ruin this, score a [...]
Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]
Somehow it seems unlikely that this dude, who vows not to read Wonkette ever again, has read much of it in the past.
Ha ha, Mitt Romney made a funny! The Wall Street Journal asked him about his New Year’s resolutions, and he said he had decided to “stop wearing a suit and tie to bed.” Silly Mitt, everyone knows his head falls off if you remove the tie. [WSJ]
K-LOAD: Mouth-breathing fart-sack Kathryn Jean Lopez has posted a confusing new Word Jumble, in which she claims that Prop. 8, the Mormons’ financial assault on California homosexuals, “won by the same margin as Barack Obama did in that state.” Obama crushed McCain 61%-37% in California, while Prop. 8 squeaked by with 52%. [Andrew Sullivan]
Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government [...]
Just a week or so ago, California Mormons reproduced in reptilian-fashion, thereby increasing their population several times over. “Be fruitful and multiply,” Joe the Mormon God commanded from a modernist ranch house atop a hill in LA. “This is in preparation for Election Day, when ye shall amass at the polls and vote in favor [...]
Dan Savage offers one of the better commentaries on Prop 8 we’ve seen. [YouTube via Andrew Sullivan]
…But be sure to wear a rubber! It is a true fact that all Mormons have space warts. [SFist]
Do you see this, America? If you vote “yes” on California Prop 8, YOU are authorizing Mitt Romney to come into your evil lesbian household and sniff your panties. [YouTube]
