nasa
What did NASA send your Wonkette for some reason? Secret plans for the new Chevrolet space shuttle? A wacky “mash up” video of NASA accidents? No! It’s even better/worse than all that: “NASA will hold a news conference at 2 p.m. EST on Thursday, Dec. 2, to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the [...]
The Moon: it’s America’s moon! We put our flag there, and thus according to the international legal principles of “firsties” and “fuck off, we’re using it,” it is OURS. But according to NASA, the Moon is shrinking. SHUT UP, NASA. Our moon is fine. Every country we’ve ever shown it to says so. You know, [...]
The Republicans were so proud of their shitty new website, “America Speaking Out.” They got the finest 1970s NASA computer technology to power the immediately broken & buggy webform — instead of letting the Free Market work by using Formspring or whatever — and then they were sad when a bunch of Wonkette readers filled [...]
Let’s see, we’ve only had five actual Space Shuttles, and two of them have blown up — killing everyone aboard and bumming out the nation for weeks/months — and actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts after that shuttle exploded shortly after launch, meaning we started with just four, and half of that [...]
Just as Stephen Hawking’s dire warning about the Space Aliens made the news three weeks ago, engineers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory discovered a puzzling development in the datastream sent by Voyager 2, the space probe launched in 1977 that is currently 8.5 billion miles from Earth and 5 billion miles beyond the orbit of [...]
A robotic space plane launched from Cape Canaveral at 7:52 p.m. tonight, and god knows what that even means. The X-37b is a small unmanned orbiter that can stay in space for up nine months at a time and glides down to a runway landing like some eerie 2010 version of, say, a 1970s space [...]
Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri is kind of stupid and we can prove it. In a very serious press release titled “Akin Against Ceding Low Earth Orbit Capabilities to Russians,” Akin (meaning his communications person, but let’s pick on the top guy anyway) writes: “The decision by the Obama administration to gut NASA’s manned flight [...]
We are not always kind to NASA — because come on, most of those people couldn’t even hold a job at the Jiffy Lube — but today’s launch of Discovery went off without a terrible explosion killing everyone aboard. And that’s something, for NASA! Plus, this is the fourth-to-last Space Shuttle mission, ever. No more [...]
What happens when you make a lousy low-budget movie with a story that goes nowhere and outdated special effects? You spend a whole lot of money marketing the crap. What happens if you have a vague understanding of this concept but you work for NASA, with its 1970s jalopy shuttles and its moment of glory [...]
Maurice R. Greenberg, the impossibly geriatric former head of AIG, has been quietly luring young, unsuspecting insurance execs to his new firm. [New York Times] Harry Reid promised out loud that the new health care bill will have a public option, which means it actually might! [Washington Post] Like half an hour ago, NASA sent [...]
Just as the President of the United States was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, one of his country’s famous agencies was bombing the hell out of an innocent rock that orbits our planet, “to find water.” Here is the command center, broadcasting live from a local middle school’s AV room, just after the bombing. Some [...]
HEY YOU GUYS: Please DO NOT FORGET to say “goodbye forever” to the moon tonight. Tomorrow at like six in the morning NASA will bomb it to death. Recall the moon’s distinguished history: It has orbited around our planet, America, for the last ~2009 years, when Jesus Christ gifted all the celestial bodies, which he [...]
