nebraska
Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning has some kind of rambling magical woodland children’s bedtime story about coons ‘n beetles ‘n rat carcass to share with everybody. Here is your Google translation from the original Wingnut Gibberish: “If the EPA leaves buckets of insects scattered around the bulldozers at an abandoned construction site, the poor turn [...]
Are you sick of primaries yet? Yes? Too bad! There are several more of them today! Sex maniac Nikki Haley will probably win, after Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin turned her into a proxy for America, by fighting for her love. Also, a black conservative will probably beat Strom Thurmond’s son; a lesbian is running [...]
Monstrous Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson is being very liberal again, just like he was when he “jumped the shark” and personally added “free abortions for all” to the health care bill last year. This time around, he is planning to vote “yes” in committee on the fancy new “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” compromise, giving the [...]
SUCK IT, NEBRASKA LADIES: “LINCOLN, Neb. — Nebraska lawmakers on Monday gave final approval to a first-of-its-kind measure requiring women to be screened for possible mental and physical problems before having abortions.” There’s *always* a physical problem, is the thing. You know, the massive zygote action in your tum-tum! [Washington Post]
Poor old Ben “Wario” Nelson is having such trouble proving to the Real Americans of Nebraska — the Most Real Americans out there, yikes! — that the pending expansion of health insurance conducted entirely through the existing for-profit private corporate market is not a Kenyan Afro-Socialist takeover of their guns for Allah. Tonight he will [...]
Nebraskan diarrhea puddle Ben Nelson has now issued another aggravating line in the sand for himself on health care reform, because he just really really doesn’t want to vote for it at all: “Sen. Ben Nelson told reporters today he will filibuster the health care bill if it doesn’t contain an abortion amendment similar to [...]
So this guy Lee Terry, he is from Nebraska — a state which, as anyone who has spent an hour and a half getting lunch in Omaha can tell you, is surprisingly tolerable! Rep. Terry is very feisty, as well, as evidenced by his reportedly telling a DC driver “Fuck you” when the driver pointed [...]
THURSDAY FUN LINK: You’ve been waiting all morning! This week’s “Thursday Fun Link” was selected because we no longer can distinguish between “fun” and “brutal social/economic/political tales of terrible sadness.” Hooray! It’s about Nebraska’s “safe haven” law that lets people abandon their “out-of-control” children — up to 19 years old — at hospitals because they [...]
While your editors continue the whimsical heartland trip across Nebraska, which grows a hundred miles wider each hour, other things are happening: The terrible German-Latino hurricane, “Gustav,” is getting so big and mean that the GOP may be forced to cancel the convention so as to look concerned! You can read all the Dave Barry [...]
Your editor is sitting in the backseat of a gold Town & Country, like Hank Williams, as your other editors jabber up front and drive through the cornfields and cow hills of Nebraska. Let’s check the e-mail and see what’s … Oh goddamn, what does the Library of Congress want from your Wonkette?
Meet Charles “Chuck” Stepanek, 48, a former Republican candidate for Nebraska Legislative District 27, who has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of marijuana cigarettes. While the dreadful teenage drug did not make “Chuck” sell his children for a sweet, sweet fix, it did cause him to do this: “According to court records, police [...]
Our good friend Jon Tester writes to us (and everybody else on his email list) to ask us to donate to the campaign of Scott Kleeb, who is running for the Senate “Tractor Caucus.” Who is this cutie with the terrible name?
