new hampshire
During Iowa’s caucus coverage Tuesday night, some time around thirteen o’clock, in between the 98th and 99th time Wolf Blitzer assured us that “we’re watching this vee-ee-ery closely,” a message flashed on the screen that Senator John McCain, former thingy, plans to endorse Mitt Romney as the GOP nominee. Turns out McCain has no respect [...]
Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight on January 4, that being the first day of the rest our lives following tonight’s roll in the Iowa hay. While perfectly legal — there’s no limit to the amount of [...]
Let’s see, what super crazy stuff has rusty robot Mitt Romney learned today about these other weird things “humans” that he so desperately wants to rule? Ooh, it’s a tricky one: gay people look just like non-gay people! Take, for instance, Bob Garon, a kindly senior citizen Mitt Romney accosted while he was lurking around [...]
Sooper jenius Rick Perry has finally stumbled on the secret to a 2012 victory! He invited a town hall audience in New Hampshire to make sure to vote for him on November 12, a week after the sucky November 6 presidential election nobody is enthusiastic about anyway, and when no one else will even be [...]
Here we have always assumed that Orly Taitz was some kind of comic relief goober invented by the universe to break up droll news cycles, but apparently some people still somehow take her seriously! Not real people of course, just a screamy handful of Republican state legislators in New Hampshire, this time, who got so [...]
Here’s an eight-minute video of a rambling idiot talking about “lovin’ on you a lil’ bit” or whatever, we don’t even know. New Hampshire! Politics! Cocktail hour!
The latest from the Republican primary calendar war of attrition (started by who else, Florida) stars New Hampshire and Nevada in one of those screamy all-American knife fights that break out at the local McAnusChain after the cashier nervously announces they’re running out of chicken nuggets, except here the nuggets are just the “number of days [...]
Here is your “GOP debate blingee” which, you know, hang in there. Your furriner editor is new at the blingee thing. SO HERE WE GO. Tonight’s debate is in New Hampshire, where Michele Bachmann last changed American history. Why was Sarah Palin trying to copy her so hard? Where is Sarah Palin, to wear the [...]
Capping off perhaps the most exciting pre-campaign campaign since fictional candidate Tim Pawlenty’s campaign was accidentally announced on a website on a Sunday night, Mitt Romney today announced he was really doing that thing he has been doing non-stop since approximately 1996: running for president. The health-reform Mormon returned to his roots in liberal Massachusetts [...]
Donald Trump’s increasingly ridiculous little overtures to the birthers and Teabaggers may be just a play to get attention for himself, but it turns out those people don’t need much pandering or authenticity to jump on board, because Trump is now running a strong second to Mitt Romney in New Hampshire primary polling. This is [...]
You’ve probably heard the “social security is bankrupt!” propaganda enough times to half believe it. Social Security is outta money! — even though it’s currently sitting on $4.3 trillion, and it’s fully funded by existing contribution schedules and existing reserves for the next quarter of a century. And after 2037, it’s still 75% funded. Time [...]
Weird 91-year-old Republican state representative Martin Harty’s short career in New Hampshire politics is now over, because he said Hitler must have done “something right” and also that crazy people should be sent to Siberia for some reason. If Harty had only been about 45 years younger and maybe wore glasses to “look smart,” he [...]
