new york times
The New York Times is supposedly typey-typing its story that we already know will force David Paterson to resign before having any idea what’s in it. Why won’t David Paterson save the Times the trouble and just resign right now, for whatever?
For the last few days, hype has been building over a New York Times story of “Vicki Iseman Proportions” about New York Governor David Paterson, and how he has sex with ladies and does corrupt things and will have to resign, for having corrupt sex. The Times was going to run the story today but [...]
Gawker has found a short but delicious profile of New York Times misogynist neckbeard holy warrior-columnist Ross Douthat, from his days at mean old Harvard. Here’s a fun pargraph! “His room is adorned with posters of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe – stars from Hollywood’s glamour heyday – as well as a towering tribute to [...]
Poorly executed human mustache Thomas Friedman has a solution to our country’s unpopular “no jobs problem.” It involves like, everyone starting a business, right? But see the incentive (or “moral hazard”) is that everyone’s going to be selling products they invented themselves. “Obama should make the centerpiece of his presidency mobilizing a million new start-up [...]
Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the “something vulgar” rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever.
Joe “Collywobble” Lieberman, the worst human being since Abraham Lincoln, is featured in a terrifying New York Times mini-profile for tomorrow’s edition in which — and maybe this is just us? — we detect a little bit of venom on the reporters’ pens, as their editors force them to speak to and write about this [...]
C’MON! SINISTER DAVID BROOKS CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED JOHN THUNE (R-SD) IS “SUN-CHAPPED” IN A “PRAIRIE” SORT OF WAY: “The first thing everybody knows about him is that he is tall (6 feet 4 inches), tanned (in a prairie, sun-chapped sort of way) and handsome (John McCain jokes that if he had [...]
BLAZING SADDLES IS LIKE OBAMA’S STAR WARS FOREIGN POLICY, YEAH?: So exactly how little power does Obama have over Hamid Karzai?: “‘You know that scene in the movie Blazing Saddles, when Cleavon Little holds the gun to his own head and threatens to shoot himself?’ asked Ronald E. Neumann, a former ambassador to Afghanistan.” [New [...]
Look kids, this is what 10% unemployment looks like — one Men’s Room sign out of ten is filled with warm piss! The very important New York Times graphic adds, “That’s 15.7 million people. If the unemployed lived in one state, it would be the country’s fifth largest.” Great! Move ‘em all to one state, [...]
JOHN EDWARDS WANTED HIS WIFE TO DIE CONSTANTLY: The New York Times obliterated John Edwards this weekend, with its report about how he’s preparing to FINALLY be like, “yeah that’s mah baby.” Most terrifying part: “In the [book] proposal, which The New York Times examined, [former aide Andrew] Young says that he assisted the affair [...]
SHUT UP, CLOWN-MOOSE: Erratic wingnut Sarah Palin is ready to rehabilitate her comical image! Only 23% of Americans approve of this fame-crazed snowbilly grifter — Hi, Republican base! — so it’s time for Palin to “write” an op-ed for the important neo-con pamphlet The Washington Post. It’s an unfunny collection of super-short paragraphs about how [...]
