new york
Tea party-backed 2010 GOP gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino won’t run for the now-vacant seat of former Rep. Chris Lee (R-N.Y), instead throwing his support behind state Assemblywoman Jane Corwin (R) should she run. In the wake of Lee’s quick resignation Wednesday evening after embarrassing web postings and photos surfaced on Gawker, a source close to [...]
Homes in Snyder, New York are now covered in a “goo” of feces and urine, just like in that Oscar-winning 1997 Robin Williams film noir, Flubber, except it is being eaten off the ground and sides of houses by dogs and small children. “Most of the houses along Washington Highway and Berryman Drive have taken [...]
Oh hey there, kids. Your Wonkabout disappeared for about a month or so to go to Thailand, but she’s now back at Wonkette Headquarters. What important developments happened in D.C. during her absence? H Street’s white people transporter was discontinued, the Washington Post proudly proclaimed that the “New York-ification” of the District is just beginning [...]
For reasons which are all too clear, The Wretched State of Alaska has delayed the release of Sarah Palin’s governor e-mails fourteen times, and two more delays are pending! Why won’t Alaska’s bureaucrats let us read the gchat exchanges between Sarah Palin and the Bloomingdale’s panties that she purchased with Michael Steele’s American Express card? [...]
Who is this mysterious man next to the guy with the shoe-polish face? No, it is not a “good Carl Paladino costume,” it is the man himself, doing what every candidate should do mere hours before his gubernatorial election: get drunk at the local bar and grope some young women in “sexy Mrs. Buttersworth” costumes. [...]
Just one more day just one more day just one more day: The wife of a Libertarian running for New York governor race is speaking out against an anonymous campaign mailer that depicted her husband as the subject of a “sexual predator alert.” No one has claimed responsibility for the mailer that is estimated to [...]
America witnessed beautiful, unvarnished Democracy last night, and it was delicious. All seven mostly-insane New York gubernatorial candidates participated in a remarkably civil and friendly chitchat, and Carl Paladino didn’t even say anything vaguely racist — which is a miracle, Hallelujah et cetera. (Every time Paladino says something horrible, Satan has sex with an endangered [...]
Here is a thing that happened: deceased Wonkette editor Alex Pareene liveblogged the Paladino-Cuomo debate for Capital New York! Alex: You know it occurs to me that if you’re a regular fringe candidate who for whatever reason sat this election out, you are totally watching this right now and kicking yourself.
Who knew Carl Paladino would be so much fun, what with his homosexual gay-man night clubs and the boobies and the gay parades? We thought he was just an ignorant boring gazillionaire creep who forced racist porn on his underlings!
No matter how much he tries to escape it, Carl Paladino’s life is full of the gay he hates so much. That whole New York gay pride parade he thought was so disgusting? Yeah, one of his “key advisors,” Roger Stone, was at that thing. So was Roger Stone’s shirtless body and that of a [...]
Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he’s no homophobe. That’s funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work at the Paladino campaign. This is according to the New York Post, which also wants you [...]
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about, say, racial relations, and halfway through it the dude is all like, “Really, anything terrible I say about the blacks is totally not racist because MY SISTER DATES A BLACK GUY AND I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH IT”? This is an annoying but sometimes effective rhetorical [...]
Questioner: “If you were the chief executive of New York, what would your response be to the attorney general of the United States deciding to hold terrorist trials in Manhattan?” Paladino: “F*** him. F*** him.” Your response would be to fuck Eric Holder? SOMEBODY’S BEEN BRAINWASHED BY A GAY PARADE FLOAT! [Hotline]
