newt gingrich
Look at Mitt Romney in South Carolina today trying so hard to operate a small container of laundry detergent like he knows how it works, AW. No no, Mitt, the machine does not have change for a fifty, QUIT jamming the bill into the coin slot. Sigh. What were the other candidates up to?
Trouble was unfortunately not at all apparent early Saturday at a non-chain breakfast diner where national media could pick up some “local color” on a day when followers of political news are interested in reading new developments, but there are no new developments. Polls will not close until 7 p.m. Eastern time. What to do [...]
What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you’re stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped punching bag who is so venal and amoral he makes Bill Clinton look like a family [...]
For anyone out there who continues to be nauseated by Newt Gingrich’s lifelong pattern of deception, adultery, selfishness and cruelty toward his wives, you’re just looking at it wrong! What his affairs actually demonstrate, when you really think about it, are his psychological strength and fitness for office. Huh? Oh come on now, Slate, you [...]
Was there a highlight to tonight’s GOP debate? No. There is a GOP debate every four or five hours, constantly, forever, and there cannot be a highlight to something that is ongoing and eternal, like CNN Headline News or the Lake of Fire, in Hell. But CNN number-reader John King did manage to really get [...]
In a page right out of Newt Gingrich’s alternate-history science-fiction wingnut-polygamy utopian epic Candyland Space Land, the school district in Tucson has completely banned Mexican-American studies, seized all the textbooks and even wall posters from the classrooms, and punished the students who protested by sentencing them to janitorial duty. The self-hating Latina lady who oversees [...]
Newt Gingrich thinks it’s really inauthentic of President Obama to hold an event inside the gates of Disney World. It’s elitist, he implied, during an event of his own in Bluffton, SC on Thursday, because the event is “invitation only,” and it shows just how fake Obama is, because Disney World is not a real [...]
The density of swollen piglet Newt Gingrich’s sleaziness is apparently such that there are still, ten years later, more awful details of his second divorce that America had not yet learned: ex-wife Marianne Gingrich told ABC News that before Newt left her, he asked her to just be cool about the whole affair thing and [...]
The Wall Street Journal has unearthed a treasure trove of memorabilia from Newt Gingrich’s early career, including this terrifying Son of Sam-esque campaign flyer from one of his early runs for Congress. So it turns out Gingrich’s basic platform — “Stop complaining, you lazy ass” — has remained more or less unchanged for decades.
Newt Gingrich has joined his sudden kindred spirit Ron Paul in saying that he believes there should be some kind of exploratory committee “to look at the concept of how do we get back to hard money.” In a discussion Tuesday at a foreign policy forum in South Carolina, Gingrich said as president he would [...]
In a speech at a rally for the National Association of Home Builders last Thursday, posing in front of an unbuilt home that no one will ever buy because no one can get a mortgage, alleged fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich argued on behalf of home ownership and government support of it, and in the process [...]
Prattler extraordinaire Sarah Palin came the closest yet to endorsing someone as the Republican nominee when she told Fox News’s Sean Hannity on Tuesday that she’d vote for Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary. But you see, this is not an endorsement at all, so for confused Republicans still planning on voting Republican this [...]
Newt Gingrich’s latest campaign ad is the shoestringiest thing you could possibly make if you wanted to simply remind people that you speak loudly and forcefully in debates, insult your competitors whilst sounding like a hormonally-charged high school debate team member, and categorically cannot stand the President. The ad consists of Star Wars-like music combined [...]
Last night’s Republican debate in the former U.S. territory of South Carolina brought the declaration of not one but two wars! Which, thank goodness, we were just about to run out of wars! Rick Perry predictably bumbled South Carolinians into Civil War 2. And useless talking marshmallow Newt Gingrich finally and officially declared war on America’s [...]
