nutrition
Michelle Obama Halts War On Obesity And Anusburgers
Drudge sirens and frantic arm flapping: a Washington Post reporter saw “War on Childhood Obesity” Gen. Michelle Obama over at the new Shake Shack diner in D.C. engaging in “talks” with one of those giant crushed cow-horse-goat anus cakes that weighs six pounds, has 30,000 calories and its own zip code or however that “your [...]
Michelle Obama Confusing Everyone With Colorful Health Things
by Blair Burke
Michelle Obama is trying very hard to help Americans slim down so they can stop buying clothes with sizes in the triple digits. She is probably so frustrated right now, because she has tried so many things. She has tried to get kids to exercise by teaching them hot dance moves. She has infiltrated day [...]
Teabag Lady First Person Ever To Use ‘Forced Down Our Throats’ Correctly
If you follow American politics and you have a soul, one of your least favorite phrases is some variation of “forced down our throats.” This is generally used to imply that some law or regulation has gone into effect as a result of an election in which the winning side received 52 to 56 percent [...]
Rumor has it that people who have attended the White House’s many recent dinner functions are peeved that they didn’t get enough food. Apparently meals are served in “tiny little portions,” maybe in the French style? We all know that 1) Americans are too fat because their idea of portion control is confining their evening [...]
