Obama
Execution worshipper Mitt Romney has a strange new campaign video that features Mittens driving around very depressing neighborhoods in Detroit, lost maybe? No, it is Mitt Romney’s Tour of Ruined America, which is not Obama’s fault, says Mitt (ALWAYS BLAME OBAMA, MITT), but Obama isn’t fixing it, either. Blah blah, this explanation is taking too [...]
It’s official: Americans have now “forgotten 9/11.” Obama is tied with Mittens in a new Post-ABC poll after losing his “bin Laden bounce,” and voter focus has mysteriously switched back to the jobs crisis. Our national honeymoon with bin Laden’s corpse is over (the sex was already sort of dropping off), and America is still [...]
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s celebrate by bombing Libya: “The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. raised the possibility of ‘going beyond a no-fly zone,’” but didn’t specify when the United States would save all the oil from oppression — causing major blue balls in diplomatic circles. Remember two days ago when Barack Obama said he [...]
The New York Times did some superb journalism and wrote yet another article about how D.C. is all growed up! What did they focus on this time? That gay people live in D.C.? That a group of 20-somethings effectively run the government from their condos in Logan Circle? That white people live where black people [...]
Barack Obama met with other Muslim world leaders in South Korea for the infamous G-20 economic summit, which is sort of like Bohemian Grove except Alex Jones is actually invited. (Who else is going to negotiate favorable Prison Planet DVD exchange rates?) Usually these economic summits are “trade this” and “currency that” and “blah blah [...]
What, you didn’t make enough money from your million-dollar book deals, Mr. Spender-in-chief? Police said a man wearing a mask of President Barack Obama robbed the Sheetz on Somerset Center Drive at about 3:24 a.m. on Wednesday. Police said the man, who was armed with a handgun, demanded money and left after he was given [...]
Some Yakima, Washington-area anti-taxers have stirred up a little controversy for a unique parade float they made in honor of Nachos Naches Sportsman’s Days, one of Real America’s favorite holidays. The float featured a person wearing a Barack Obama mask whipping another fellow dressed up as a “future tax payer” and pulling a wagon full [...]
The main problem right now, according to Lindsey Graham, is not that America is in a deep depressing hole of sadness. Lindsey Graham has nothing against deep holes — some could argue he even fancies them, if you know what we mean, and we think you do! — what concerns him is the kind of [...]
Iowan Kim Lehman, who serves on the Republican National Committee, used her Twitter last week to reach out and touch the Politico — which is what today’s typical American woman does, if she’s feeling lonely — and chide them for taking cash-money to protect Imam Obama’s reputation. All America’s Top Political Zine had twittered was [...]
Police arrested four Christians for disorderly conduct the other day after they tried to distribute Gospel of John books outside the Dearborn Arab International Festival — held in the heavily muslinized city of Dearborn, near Detroit. According to “John,” who posted the arrest video on the Internet and also possibly wrote the gospel in question, [...]
JUDGE BLOCK DEE-WATER DRILLING MORATIORIUM, say the Associated Presses, all grammatical-like. That’s right! Rand Paul 1, Statists 0. U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman in New Orleans decided New Orleans has not had enough trouble. “What we need, folks, is more oil spills up in here,” he probably said, though who knows because BREAKING NEWS. So [...]
