ohio
A six-story-tall statue of Jesus’ torso known as “Big Butter Jesus” and/or “Touchdown Jesus” — because what is wrong with people? — was struck by lightning and burned to the ground last night. The vulgar landmark was built in 2004 outside some mall church in the outskirts of Cincinnati. “It was made of plastic foam [...]
The most honest and beloved businessman in America is of course the noble auto dealer. Anyone who’s ever bought a new car can remember only good things about the experience! And dealerships have elaborate legal protections in every state that insulate them from competition and restrict the rights of manufacturers to control their own sales [...]
Hey, people taking off their shirts …. old people, chunky people … to make, uh, a typically dumb/strained Democrat political point, that actually makes no real sense, and is just gross. Go to a website and the Democratic Party will send, uh, a shirt to Rob Portman, because he’s some Bush slimeball who is to [...]
The results from the rather tasteless British election affair are in, many hours before the Polles commence: Joseph the Plumber of Ohio shall become the new Queen. The Queen’s be-Queening ceremony went like so: “Samuel ‘Joe’ Wurzelbacher, who was hailed by Republican John McCain’s presidential campaign in 2008, won one of nearly 400 seats on [...]
Remember two years ago when we pored over every single primary’s results — Jesus, we would, like, live-blog returns from gross states that we never even wanted to visit — just to see who was up in the delegate count or how Hillary was doing among white men or whether Obama had the momentum or [...]
Liz Glover just sent us this morbid reminder: “Tomorrow is the 40th Anniversary of the Kent State Massacre. Here’s my interview with a couple of the members of Devo who witnessed it.”
The people of Columbus, Ohio, were understandably delighted 40 years ago when a small turd mistaken for an aborted fetus actually began to yell in rudimentary English about “communists.” The so-called Columbus Miracle Baby never did anything else of note until last week, when it began yelling and throwing dollar bills at an old man [...]
We don’t want to tell you what happens in this Ohio teabagger video titled “Mocking man with Parkinsons over health care.wmv,” but it sure is nuts! [YouTube, Columbus Dispatch]
Among the many boring items on Barack Obama’s official schedule today was an unexplained 11:30 a.m. meeting with retiring, not-completely-insane Republican Sen. George Voinovich, supposedly about upcoming plans to “lower the national debt.” Fiddlesticks. No one cares about some debt or another! It was clearly a covert meeting in which Obama would pay Voinovich millions [...]
Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but [...]
Ohio player Tony Walker sends us this picture of a super-scary Halloween yard display, in his yard, in Ohio. “I stole the TeaBagger style for the sign (lettering and such) but restructured the message to a leftest/socialist theme,” Tony types to us. So is this our first “costume picture” of Halloween Eve? Come on people, [...]
Hey Columbus Dispatch, you have a Moral Obligation to release audio of this interview with Sen. George Voinovich! All Americans must hear this terrifyingly transcribed hell-screech of the Southern Republicans: “We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns. It’s the southerners. They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr.’ People hear them and say, [...]
Today, in our ongoing celebration of profane Republican lawmakers, we bring you the beloved Ohio smoke-mummy John Boehner. On Friday he very coyly suggested that Nancy Pelosi’s “Let’s All Give Anal Beads to the Polar Bears for Christmas” enviroterrorist legislation was not quite to his taste …
Joe the goddamn Plumber is suing a few gals in Ohio, state employees to be exact, for cheating with their computers! This latest publicity stunt of a civil action states that these three “violated his privacy when they gathered his personal information in a records search,” which they were not allowed to do. You may [...]
