osama bin laden
Angsty rich kid Osama bin Laden could have been just another Saudi playboy, loitering his days away trading oil and chasing Lebanese models. But he just HAD to rebel against his wealthy family and their friends in the Saudi royal family, forever proving that he’s His Own Person or something. And so he embraced the [...]
That state attorney general who “won” at being the first to defeat Obamacare in his state apparently would like to be beamed up to heaven very quickly so he can go be one of Osama bin Laden’s “Virginans,” which sounds like a cross between “virgin” and “vagina” and “trans.” Wow, what a combo! Whatever your [...]
Hey look, the White House’s story changed again! (By next week, we will finally find out bin Laden had become an emo and slit his wrists two days before we got there.) Administration officials said the official account of events has changed over the course of the week because it has taken time to get [...]
Considering the Obama administration has made it clear they have not and will not release any photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse, most people would realize the fakes floating around the Internet, which are not even Photoshopped all that well, are not real. Republican Senators Saxby Chambliss, Kelly Ayotte, and Scott Brown, however, saw these [...]
The past few days, the media have engorged themselves on a litany of little details about Osama bin Laden’s living conditions at the time of his death. But today, they’ve seen to hit a wall. Look, government officials, it’s not like they’re going to look into the veracity of whatever you give them, just throw [...]
A Houston high school teacher found a great way to talk about the exciting news of Osama bin Laden’s killing: He told a Muslim girl in his ninth grade algebra class, “I bet you’re grieving.” Ha ha, just a topical joke! And then he added, “Hey, algebra is Muslim, too. I bet algebra is grieving.” [...]
Osama bin Laden had cash totaling 500 Euros and two telephone numbers sewn into his clothing when he was killed — sure signs that he was prepared to flee his compound at a moment’s notice — top U.S. intelligence officials told members of Congress at a classified briefing in the Capitol Tuesday. But did his [...]
Get out of the way, American flag! Can’t you see he’s trying to shoot? Sure, he was trying to take all of our Freedomz, but couldn’t bin Laden have just tried to focus on stuff like this? It would have been nice. Oh, who are we kidding? WE SHOOT THE AIR WITH YOU, MAN ON [...]
Ladies and gentlemen, this is why Web conspiracy theorist Alex Jones should be given Glenn Beck’s time slot: While Beck was prancing around with his drawing of what Osama bin Laden’s face looks like yesterday, Jones’ team was in contact with a “multitude of different inside sources both publicly and privately,” uncovering the STORY OF [...]
From Iran’s semi-state-run news agency: The US has killed the Al-Qaeda leader, Osama Bin Laden, in a bid to prevent any possible leakage of intelligence and information about the US-Al-Qaeda joint terrorist operations, a senior Iranian legislator underscored on Monday. He just wanted to underscore that, in case everyone forgot about that widely accepted fact. [...]
