our flourishing economy
Because so many millions of American children are plopped in front of the teevee to watch Sesame Street instead of getting any breakfast, what with 45 million people on food stamps and tens of millions with no jobs and other economic unpleasantness, the folks at the Children’s Television Workshop will introduce a sad new muppet [...]
We haven’t heard from Riley in 18 hours, and fear for the safety of his Monopoly MacBook battery. While we await Waggaman’s new dispatch from the Occupy Wall Street occupation, here’s the actual video of the Wall Street suits literally drinking champagne and laughing from balconies while thousands of serious and determined protesters march below. [...]
At least the New York Observer is giving a little of the News Hole to the #OccupyWallStreet gang! Here’s our own correspondent, Riley Waggaman, with his bad-ass bomber jacket and monopoly Apple laptop that is now the only computer manufactured and sold, since Apple became a monopoly, according to some self-loathing douche-poop who works on [...]
Hello friends! Your Occupy Wall Street correspondent spent the day familiarizing himself with the park-dwelling lifestyle (pro tip: poop at McDonald’s, not in your pants) and meeting the treacherous peaceniks that he will be spending an entire week with. Did you know that these “disorganized, godless pixies” are actually extremely intelligent and highly organized, and [...]
Via the Washington journalist Christopher Mims, here’s the most terrifying BBC video clip we’ve seen since those Daleks gobsmacked the Queen Mum. It’s worth watching the whole three minutes:
Occupy Wall Street has just completed its ninth day — but you wouldn’t know, since America’s glorious free press is too busy covering the Big Stories: “New Ben and Jerry’s flavor in poor taste?” and “Man with broken leg survives 4 days in desert” and “Michele Bachmann goes somewhere, says something”). The anti-American media-fairness group [...]
Great news, everybody: After deliberately failing to help millions of American families stuck in vulture mortgages, the U.S. government is now giving those foreclosed homes to Wall Street for pennies on the dollar so that Wall Street can then rent the now-vacant foreclosures back to the same people pushed out during the Wall Street-caused housing [...]
Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this [...]
Happy 520-point Dow Jones Industrial Index Plunge Day, everybody! (No, this is not a repeat from Friday or Monday, but it is the opposite of Tuesday.) How might perceptions of the United States change now that the United States is a morally/financially bankrupt land of angry slobs who just had their Hoverounds repo’d by John [...]
You know things are horrible in American Politics when a guy campaigning for U.S. Senate on a platform of free trade/space colonization and ending the minimum age so bums can work as low-paid “government helpers” sounds more reasonable than actual senators currently in positions of great power. Courtesy of Wonkette commenter/operative AnnieGetYerFun, here’s some of [...]
