How Did We Arrive at This Point?
Thursday, December 27th, 2007
So, while candidates in other countries risk life and limb for politics, our candidates risk only their own pride and our derision to win the right to continue campaigning for another 10 months or so. And so it was that yesterday Mike Huckabee decided to let his redneck flag fly by announcing that he doesn’t only kill small animals for fun all the time unlike that poseur Romney, he eats them, too. Yes, in order to pander to the varmint-eaters vote, Huckabee bragged “I figured out you could put grease in a popcorn popper and heat that thing up, and you could cook anything,. So we fried squirrel.” OMG, people, is this what we’re coming to? Who is the biggest redneck Macgyver? And with 10 more months to go? I’m cracking the booze now. Book me at room at Promises for November 5th, please. [LA Times]
So, while candidates in other countries risk life and limb for politics, our candidates risk only their own pride and our derision to win the right to continue campaigning for another 10 months or so. And so it was that yesterday Mike Huckabee decided to let his redneck flag fly by announcing that he doesn’t only kill small animals for fun all the time unlike that poseur Romney, he eats them, too. Yes, in order to pander to the varmint-eaters vote, Huckabee bragged “I figured out you could put grease in a popcorn popper and heat that thing up, and you could cook anything,. So we fried squirrel.” OMG, people, is this what we’re coming to? Who is the biggest redneck Macgyver? And with 10 more months to go? I’m cracking the booze now. Book me at room at Promises for November 5th, please. [LA Times]
Seeking to capitalize on what the other candidates call his “lack of experience,” Obama 
It’s time, everybody, it’s time! Feel the disconnect as Nightly Business Report segues to PBS Presidential Primary Forums With Tavis Smiley. Ladies and gentlemen, get your cocktails ready.
Oh, tonight’s Republican debate in South Carolina should be really good, as the 10 douchebags fall over each other trying to give the most praise to racist bag-of-shit Jerry Falwell, whose Jabba-like corpse is still warm yet comically unresponsive.
It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, which has always meant one thing: old white guys babbling abstractly about equality at black churches. Today’s slumming sons of privilege include Senator Chris “
The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, headed by, apparently, Leno’s staff writers and your grandfather, are proving themselves HIP and EDGY and WITH IT with a new website based on popular concept Snakes on a Plane (after, we hear, rejecting a site based on the film adaptation of Charles Bukowski’s Factotum, opening today in limited release). DSCC head Chuck Schumer, wearing a “Vote for Pedro” shirt on which “Pedro” had been crossed out and “Democrats” written beside it in Sharpie, said this half-assed grab for relevance would demonstrate conclusively that Democrats, lacking a basic sense of humor, have the decorum and gravitas necessary to lead the country through the War on Terror. 
’cause I was sittin’ there bored to death… 