pennsylvania
Sinking political tabloid Newsweek has got a HOT SCOOP on a story that, as usual, broke several years ago, which in this case stars the twentysomething sexytimes of one Karen Santorum née Garver before she met hubby Rick Santorum, all the way back when she was just a wily young nursing student who appeared at [...]
Like the rest of you, we have always pictured Amazon’s magical packing and shipping department as a pleasant oversized igloo on the moon full of merry little elves scurrying to and fro among piles of strawberry bon bons and gold ribbons. As it turns out, however, a newspaper investigation reveals that it is actually, hahahahahaha, [...]
Here is an interesting development that is occurring in Pennsylvania: it appears that we have been so busy worrying about the Mexicans stealing all the jobs from white people that we forgot to watch out for that other problem, which is livestock stealing jobs from humans. Oops! It is pretty much the creepy sci-fi version [...]
OH HEY, MITTENS. There he is, our weird stale friend Mitt Romney, hanging out in an empty field in front of an old, abandoned factory building. Is that the safest thing for a rich old white guy? No, but that is his campaign strategy! After cruising around the bombed-out parts of Detroit saying it was [...]
Sharron Angle’s not the only one who looks Asian. According to the DSCC, Pennsylvania Sleestak character’s opponent Pat Toomey is a no-good red Chinaman because he supports free trade practices. Was a country of 1.3 billion people just reduced to a gong sound effect, the color red, and a picture of a fortune cookie? Yes, [...]
Sarah Palin’s hometown newspaper reported last week that America’s Sweetheart got a restraining order against a Pennsylvania teenager who sent her death threats. After learning their baby had been put in a corner, the Sarah Palin Internet swiftly came to her rescue, and now everything is right in the world because this teenager is now [...]
An Alaska judge has granted Sarah Palin a restraining order against 18-year-old Shawn R. Christy, a guy from Pennsylvania who likes to call and write her and talk about his shotgun. “He had sent her a letter with the proof of a gun purchase, claimed to have had an affair with Palin and wrote, in [...]
As a stunned America begins to prepare itself for an Arlen Specter-free future, we all must ask ourselves: What killed Arlen Specter? Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell knows! “‘The rain killed Arlen,’ Mr. Rendell said dejectedly. ‘Whatever chance he had went down with the rain.’” It is a well-known fact that old people shouldn’t go out [...]
Such tragedy, that this 80-year-old lifelong politician never really got his “shot” in the limelight.
Well, this will go down in Liveblogging History as “the night we shouldn’t have bothered,” but what the hell, let’s wrap it up. This liveblog will continue until ALL THE VOTES ARE COUNTED, or when we go to bed, whichever comes first. Meanwhile: Is Lost Island all a hologram? Only Jim Newell knows for sure. [...]
Can you believe after all these years/months, the career of Arlen Specter and/or the hit teevee show I’m Lost finally ends, right now? Let’s liveblog the greatest election ever in mid-May 2010. Rand Paul is already the absolute King of Kentucky, and all new hillbilly children will be named “Ayn,” but what about the 80-year-old [...]
