While millions of FOX News viewers were busily fantasizing about the inevitable race riots that would leave Oakland, Philly, Detroit, and Chicago in smoking ruins following Barack Obama’s crushing defeat Tuesday night, nobody thought to wonder what would become of the bitter Klingons who might be sad if Barack Obama actually won. Well, here’s your [...]
Oh look here is a kindly gent who maybe voted today, wearing his “Dress-Up Overhauls.” With Ohio and Pennsylvania under Obama’s belt, is there any way, mathematically speaking, that John McCain can get elected? Not that “math” and “numbers” are the be-all and end-all of voting, but still…
The only question we have for this latest batch of states is: will Maryland stay in the Democratic column? What? Exactly. Now let’s watch the CNN people eagerly discuss how there will not be projections re: Florida or Pennsylvania for another FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Roland Martin probably has an interesting take on this! [...]
Here’s a poster spotted in Philadelphia which claims to have been paid for by the “Republican Federal Committee of Pennsylvania Victory 2008″ (full size.) These folks at RFCPV2K8 (MEMORIZE IT — QUIZ LATER) are masters of subliminal messaging. “Oh, that’s right, my favorite baseball team won the big game, and this gave me pleasure,” the [...]
An actual 10,574,901 national and state polls have been conducted today, did you know that? No you didn’t, because you people cannot count that high. So here’s what you “need to know,” according to our fancy data robots at Wonkette.
JOHN McCAIN PUSSES OUT ON RAINY RALLY; OBAMA STAYS: Well ladies and gentlemen, that settles it. Your brave war hero John McCain does not want to hold an outdoor rally in the rain in Pennsylvania, while an hour away, Barack Obama the Hawaiian shark god whips a drenched crowd of 9.000 into an orgiastic frenzy. [...]
My stars, what a fun Wonkette Weekend we are having! We decided to start posting everyday through the election after you people kept e-mailing us about how we are lazy. Well fine, you’ve got your weekend “phunnies,” lunatics, and it comes at the expense of Jesus sending us to Hell for working on a Sunday, [...]
John McCain’s campaign in Pennsylvania pushed the most absurd, unproven version of Ashley Todd’s dingbat Obama-Mugger fantasy to the Pittsburgh media — including the “backwards B means Barack!” nonsense that so thrilled the racists for a few hours last night. Just so we’re clear, let’s say it again: John McCain’s presidential campaign pushed the most [...]
Oh god, what a bunch of bullshit. Good-bye Forever, Cut-Nut! [KDKA 2]
Let us go where we always go during our Times of National Crisis: to the wingnut comments of our nation’s proud conservative blogs. These people were obviously very angry last night about how this Negroid Monster Obama Staffer nearly murdered the brave 20-year-old white gal from Texas who was working the McCain phone banks in [...]
Not that we’re going to start believing everything Fox News reports/decides, but you know that Ashley Todd cut-nut ghost-negro racist fantasy that thrilled America for a single night? According to the executive editor of Fox News, America’s White/Poor Family News Channel, “Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.”
KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit [...]
Ashley Todd is the brave young patriot Ken and Jim have been writing about nonstop since yesterday evening. She got robbed of her pocket change by an angry dyslexic Negro monster lurking behind a Pittsburgh-area money hole, and then Twittered about it all the way home, and now nobody believes her story because America is [...]
Here’s a video by Ashley Todd, the poor McCain volunteer who claims to have been carved up by Barack Obama in Western Pennsylvania, a region where McCain needs as many votes as possible now that he’s tied his entire election hopes to victory in that state. If Ashley’s story holds up, then you obviously shouldn’t [...]
